Hmm. I'm about to go to bed but decided to empty my mind because I am annoyed. I'm annoyed because I died because I'm stupid and forgot that null sec means we have to behave in this way and that way. I'm rusty at it. And I'm amused, because I'm so hard headed.
Mechanics in game will always be a bane. Whenever I find myself hissing through my teeth disliking the mechanics of a type of space (I really, abjectly, hate bubbles) I remind myself that someone else likes it. It reminds me of the high sec arguments that I hear all the time. High sec doesn't suck. Some people love it. Other's may not enjoy it but I don't understand what they enjoy about wormholes and null sec ether.
And so, not understanding other people is again the fate of humanity.
That's what talking is for. I wound up asking the FC why we took a fight tonight after we realized we were not going to make much of a dent. Asking that kind of question is hard. It is hard to approach someone after a strategy does not work and ask them why they did it and not sound aggressive or accusatory. I want to know. After all, to learn, I have to see how they see. I can't follow a lot of the recommended methods (such as the video of said fight that will probably appear) so I have to seek information where I can. I don't FC. I don't solo. I want to do more than blindly shoot at things when told to (my FCs are awesome and I'll blindly shoot as told everyday) and it seems, to me, as if I never understand the situation. And that may just mean I don't have the ability for it. Which, is something that needs to be accepted as well.
Still... Sometimes it feels like "Why?" is the only question that I ask. Maybe it is. And then, when I question things I wonder if maybe I just don't get it. Maybe I just don't get Eve. Maybe I'm not aggressive enough. Maybe I'm utterly weird that I loathe watching videos. Maybe, maybe maybe...
Maybe, I will remember to use tactical bookmarks in null sec. I'm trying to stay out of interceptors a bit this time around. It is obvious that I have skills that need to become more ingrained habits. So, I'll struggle through picking the correct system name and try to be a good girl and get out in space some more. And participate. And improve. And ask some more questions because it seems that I have so many...
Ahh well. Another Omen. Another day. Maybe I need to enroll in OUCH.