Halycon said it quite well in a comment he left about the skill point trading proposal for skill point changes. He is conflicted in many different ways.
So am I.
Somedays, I don't want to be open minded. I do not want to see other points of view. I want to not like things and not feel good about them and it be okay. That is something that is denied me for now. I've stated my opinion about the first round of proposals to trade skills.
I don't like them.
That isn't good enough. I have to answer why. Others do not like it as well. I cannot escape over to their side and be unhappy with them. I am dragged away and challenged about my distaste. Some of the people I like most think the change is good. Other's think it has little meaning. They want to know why I don't like it.
When this was proposed at the CSM summit, I swiveled my chair and asked if they realized that they were undoing the basic structure that characters and game progression worked under. They said that they did. I tried to wrap my head around it. Things would change, meanings would be different, and a shift that feels gradual but enormous would happen and it would carry with it changes that we could not foresee.
I guess I am an old, and bitter person. I enter into games expecting to not have much. I then putter around gathering resources or experience, leveling up as I see fit. I've discussed often that I am not a min/maxer. I am not competitive. I don't care about winning. I figure someone will always be better than I am and I do not compare myself to them. I don't expect to enter a game and have instant access to everything in it.
Maybe, I am too old fashioned for this change. I have seen a steady progression of belief from various players that someone should enter into Eve and instantly be competitive. I don't understand why this is but it exists. I do understand some of the fundamental basics attached to this. Eve has long, long points where we lose players because their next marked point of progression is weeks away. There are other points of progression that they can obtain but those are not going to have the tangible results of Aura saying, "Skill training completed," or entering a new ship.
I know that something needs to change because players have changed and we lose them because the intangible nature of Eve is hard to grasp and for some it is not fun.
Maybe my confusion exists down in the layers of myself that have caused me to create the little niches and adventures in the game. I've failed at being a corp mate that brings value to their corporation. I've not become particularly rich nor am I suitably poor. My skills are not special in any way nor have I created a great space empire. It may be that I am flawed and grasp the familiar because it feels good and safe.
But, I don't care for the change. Yet, tasked within my distaste is the fact that my distaste doesn't matter. I'm one person with one opinion and have a responsibility that is greater than my own self interest. As the discussion has continued about these changes I have tried to be constructive and productive. If this is going to come, let me do the best for it that I can.
One of the strongest things about this is that the skill points are not made out of thin air. The time has gained a tangible value. One that can be traded between characters. I could start to enter into the uses for it. The big, structured groups will be able to set up their new players in brilliant fashion. There will always be those newbies who like me will just scrape their way through the game. I don't think that will go away.
But, I do not believe that characters will be the same. And maybe that is me, with my hand pressed against a dusty glass staring at my avatar's closed eyes. Maybe I am the only one that feels so strongly about my individual character and everything that they mean. Because, in this new world, character meaning will change. I'm told I am supposed to accept that because there has always been the bazaar. That feeling of stepping into someone else's body never pulled me in. My failings and my faults have been my own. They are what I am and the full sum of me.
There is still no love from me at the idea of this change. I struggle to see how the value will not be so skewed by the economy that we love and hate. In that, it will be like the bazaar. I do not think this change is for newbies. Not the newbies that I have taken under my wing and tried to help get started. But, perhaps there is a greater number than I know waiting to be allowed to fly as they sip deeply of well of unallocation. After all, I have read accusations of bitterness and not being flexable, of wishing to deny others things and standing upon a pedestal of experience to sneer down at newer players because they cannot catch up as time. It seems I am this person. Stuck, nonsensical, and bitter in their hatred for change. I did not think so of myself before but I have read that as what I am today. What a bitter cup is scorn.
In this proposal, time is monetized in a larger, more accessible way. Some say it is no change. Other's only wait for the day.
So, I will try to listen and hear what I can hear. I will try to understand points that make little sense to me. I will not fall into a frothing range. After all, my own reaction is so blurred and mixed that I cannot define it. I struggle with an overwhelming sense of wrongness that others I have spoken to do not share. But no matter what lays in the path of emotion, the true goal is to gather reaction, thought, and consideration.