I pondered going a bit longer without writing here. I've been thinking for the last few weeks. I've hopped on, checked mail, talked to people, but mostly, Eve's puttering along towards Fanfest. In the background, I've been fleshing out my time on the CSM. My then and my now are so far apart from each other it is rather staggering. I have wistful thoughts about my pre-CSM life. Before I knew to much and flew to close to the sun. I said before that I stopped writing out of anger. I felt that if I kept a positive face to the public while I was raging inside, I was being false. I tried for a more neutral and honest tone but without wild, emotional aspects. I still, in the end felt fake. I directed that energy to solving the problem and I feel that did happen. However, along the way more problems cropped up. I realized then, around the end of February that I was to deeply disappointed in some decisions that were made to present any type of face. One thing I have stru