Saturday, September 30, 2017

Intuition


A few people have asked me how he is doing. The answer is, "Just fine." He is 22 months old right now. His birthday is in November and he will be two.

Inty has been a lot of fun and a touch of a challenge. He is smart, stubborn, and good natured. He really, really wants what he wants without being hard to train. Mostly, it makes him look like an idiot. Autumn hates him and he has not yet, inn two years, figured out that she is not going to start liking him or want to play with him.


I forget that people don't see the goofy, cuddly creature that he is. (For size reference, he is on a king size bed). Instead they see this:


80lb (36kilo) of almost mature dog.

He has grown well. He is a sweetheart, and an utter asshole that flunked puppy school. Not because he doesn't know what to do but because he doesn't care. Inty loves other dogs the most. Other dogs are greater then treats, toys, and attention. I cannot compare. After all, he knows who I am and where I am. Why sit when we can MAYBE ALMOST interact with another dog?

Sigh. So much potential in such a silly package.


Friday, September 29, 2017

Fondness and change

I learned about the Endurance today. What a cute ship. Man, it tempts me to drop clones into wormholes. If I do undock, I should do wild and crazy things such as go against the rules of things. I should also do them with Sugar and try to beat out the embarrassment and avoidance that is so much a part of myself.

(Gotta check if Sugar has scanning skills...)

Anyway, the Endurance. How cute. Oh yeah and skins. So many now, huh? The Blood Raider skin was disappointing. To little splatter pattern. But, it led me to look at the Ore skins in general and that is when I discovered two things.

The Noctis is now Ore yellow and there are purple spaceships in Eve.


So I looked in the store and giggled because the Amarr Imperial skin makes the Avatar look like its face has been dipped in soot in the store image. It seems like purple is an industrial thing. (big raspberry to that) The purple Orca is kinda tempting.

What do I do with these clones?

What do you do with a bunch of clones fulla nice things?

And when will I believe that I can have nice things of my own?

What questions. After staggering throught he revamped menues I discovered that I've been sitting in my low grade slave clone. "Man, what an idiot," I thought to myself. "Wouldn't I have at some point changed to my training clone?"

It turns out, I had. I was misreading the menu and seeing my slave clone sitting there. I wasn't looking at my personal augmentations. Whoops.

My clones make me chuckle and shake my head. I've not lost one with anything real in it.

I still have my original +4 clone for example. I never upgraded to +5's because they are expensive (and yes I have billions of ISK and I still fret).

I have my low grade slave clone from my time in SnuffBox. I didn't get high grades because they are expensive and I fret about ISK (still with billions). I have no use for it. I don't enjoy armor and they are so damn fancy.

There was a point when I pondered self destructing and just getting rid of them. That seems wasteful and dramatic. I could self destruct alone in a corner somewhere that no one noticed. But, that just isn't me. I've always been a resource hoarder in any game.

Ah well. I guess I have plenty of empty ones hanging around.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Safety is a Falsehood

Is this Eve ghosthood? A specter formed of thoughts and memories of times past? Are there chains for me to rattle and hearths to haunt? Should there be any perspectives and opinions from this outside opinion.

Upon closer inspection there is chainmail.


Rattling chainmail 200mm steel plates, the eerie blue haired specter of Sugar Kyle floats across the chat rooms of old. The discussions are a thousand whispers (after all she is docked at Jita 4.4) that flicker and flow. Are they memories or are they reality? So much has changed and at the same time, nothing has.

Over the years I spent a lot of time pondering safety and risk in Eve. I opined and write. In the end, when I no longer undocked and had given up PvP out of stubbornness, I came to the simple conclusion that safety and risk in Eve are defined by the players. In a game where there are no goal points, the player society has created dozens. These intangible, unenforceable, and subjective points are here because we as people seek to define the world around us.

It is not that Eve is not safe. It is that the player base decided that losing ships and items is bad.

Now, in a way it is bad. After all, I'd not log into other games and have things 'soul locked' to me and other such fun, sparkly terms if losing stuff wasn't an overall negative. I don't like losing things in life. It is rather stressful. The general loss of stuff isn't good. But it also shouldn't be bad.

Yet is is. In general, it is bad to lose ships in Eve. Undesirable. Unpleasant. It gets you laughed at. It can be the basis of scorn. And, it can become a thing of great pride when the proper person uses it as a tool and owns it.

Loss is fascinating in Eve. It doesn't play along the normal rule lines as one defines the word. Over the thousands of words that I wrote, they all danced around the simple core element. I did not fear loss. I feared the reactions when others knew of my loss.

"Safety is a falsehood," was something I read today. It made me sigh because the conversation was about someone that mined all night in null sec while asleep and didn't lose their ship.

"They always say some areas of null sec are safe," I said.

"Safety is a falsehood," was the response.

"That concept will consume you," was more or less my response. I don't feel like looking at logs.

"What?"

How do I explain that it is not about safety. It is not about risk. It is not about loss. It is about subjective goalposts and failing to meet them.

The thing that fascinates me about Eve has always been the social interactions and the strength of it while at the same time, independence and personal goals are touted. On the surface it is easy to see them as contradictions. But look past and it is a reflection of an interactive, complex gathering of people.

I doubt I'll ever stop finding this game fascinating.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Your Skill Queue is Empty

It has been years since I heard Aura's voice. In fact, I'm rather sure it has changed since my first log in six years ago. But that original voice, I loved it. For those first few months, "Skill training complete," was a rush of pleasure.

I long ago turned off my volume for voice coms. Then I turned off my volume for chats with people. Now, my volume is rarely on. Yet, clear as day I could hear her little, cold and scornful notice that my skill queue was empty.

It has been a long time since that happened. I felt a bit bad. Neglectful, really. Skill queues were such an important part of my time in game. The months, weeks, days, and finally minutes until you could explode from the dock in a new fit... ahh I can still feel the adrenaline from it. I know it has changed but it is a fond memory.

While my future in Eve is still undefined, I find the launchers icon sits on my screen. I purged a lot of Eve from my day to day life. The launcher being there makes me think sometimes. Where am I now in things?

Also, I had someone reading through my blog and leaving comments. It brings me a warm happiness that somewhere in these thousands of posts, people find some amusement. Yet, when I write, I never thought that this would be one of the blogs gone quiet. Maybe because I was so loud in this little room.

I'm not totally done. Sugar's queue was topped back up.