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Let's talk about corps and me

In the pages of this blog is a story. That story is a true one. It is a meandering, rambling path of a random person that logged into Eve Online and stayed there. There is a start but no end and very little definition as to what and who that person is.

My journey to find the right corporation for me has been short. I stumbled across my first corporation. I worked to prove myself to my second. I, bashfully and embarrassingly joined my third. I leap, hopefilled, to my fourth, and now like a girl with a string of long term relationships behind her and experience but no idea of the future, I don't know what I want.

"Make your own corporation, Sugar."

I've heard those words for a while. There is an appeal. it'd be an utter lie to say there is not. There is a seductive tone to it. A place where people came because they didn't mind being around me. There is also fear. Fear of failure. And, under that concerned.

Out of the main emotions the one that has always stopped me from creating a corporation is concern.

"Can I make an place that fosters a healthy, happy, productive, environment?"

I don't know if I can. I've never thought of myself as a leader. I'm a listener. I can get things done. I can support and enable. But, I am a drifter as well. One thing the great leaders in Eve have is a semi-solid goal and focus for people. My most tangible thing is the cult of behavior. But, behavior is not enough to create game-play for people.

You so, I very much believe in finding your own goals. I also know that not everyone can do that. Many of us need help. Ideas. A small, solid dock to build our personal tangle from. I don't think that is something that I can provide on such a grand scope. To accept the responsibility of others game-play is quite the serious thing in this world of internet spaceships.

Then there are politics. With two CSMs behind me, I know that I can ignore politics. The question is can other people ignore them and can they accept the consequences of ignoring such things?  It takes a while for a person or group to prove that they will not allow politics to make the decisions. It can be done but it is not an easy path and often not fun. There is a deep satisfaction for standing up for what you believe in. It is also painfully lonely and exhausting when that thing does not fit into accepted norms.

There are other problems. I don't have a deep knowledge of fits. I am not some bad ass fleet commander. Hell, I'm the chick that really never figured out PI. I could waffle over other situations. I have no idea if I will play Eve full time or in any meaningful way. I wander away from my computer. I haven't charged my headset in months.

But really, for all the technical and potential reasons, deep down, I don't see myself as a leader.

I'm just me.


Comments

  1. Imo unless you feel it really strongly it's not good to take the lead. There's a lot of baggage to being in charge from settling playground squabbles to managing all the IT. You delegate some of it but volunteer delegees will hand it back to you when it stops being fun.

    That said, one of my best experiences in gaming was corp leading but I had a dedicated group of people totally on board with my (often mad) ideas.

    I'm thinking now of how much you gave and how burned out it seemed to leave you with the CSM.

    Why don't you look for someone you really admire to support then throw yourself whole-heartedly into that? Someone like Greygal or Signal Cartel.

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  2. I think the single most important part of being a CEO in EVE is content creation through vision. In a corporation where other players besides yourself are involved that means you are out in front creating projects that will be fun along the "theme" of your corp. If Its a PVP corp that may mean roams, an industry corp that may mean mining ops and building projects, and in a marketing corp that may mean expanding markets into other systems and regions. No matter what it is a lot of work. I personally would never be CEO of a multi player corp it is a lot of work behind the scenes organizing and giving up personal time for the benefit of all and I know that in my gameplay I'm just too selfish to give up what I enjoy the freedom to play as I wish. I know not all CEOs have this viewpoint and play quite differently and have successful corps but in my mind that Is how the job should be done and I don't have that much sacrifice in me. I admit it.
    I have had more fun taking on smaller areas of responsibility in a corp that still allow me to have fun in my gaming time and do not swamp me in paperwork per say. Just my .02

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