Really? Wow. What a nice feeling. Sure, it was from a delusional person that liked me and forgot what a ninny I am. Also, my utter disconnect with my previous skills. It was still a nice feeling. And, without the CSM thing hanging over me again, I rediscovered what it is like to be sure an offer was about myself.
I do hate that suspicion that I developed. It made me shy away from any type of title in the final dredges of the CSM. That point where I walked away from Sniff, sent Sugar off to a little edge system and gave up undocking or playing. I curled up in my chain and sighed. How was I to tell who wanted me and who wanted the title? I'd had many, many offers that started with, "Come join corp X, we want a CSM in our corp." It was quite a sucky time and left me isolated when I had the most attention.
To channel Elsa again:
"The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation,
and it looks like I'm the Queen."
Unfortunately, such situations leave scars. If you don't work scar tissue, it becomes stiff and painful. Such is much of the Sugar Kyle bit of me.
One of my biggest problems with joining a corp is that I cannot shut up. The behavior of my corpmates matters. I'm unable to fall very far off of my moral high horse.
So why don't I go to Eve Uni and Signal Cartel?
Rules. Oh rules. So useful. So important. They drive me bonkers. You see, I am a rule follower. If I went to them I'd have to do what they say. But I don't want to, so I don't. I love Mynxee and I'd looovveee to go to Signal but the credo... I'm don't want to follow it. But even as I type that I wonder if I don't or if I'm just allowing my own stubbornness to control me. I don't want to PvP ether. Of course war decs make other ventures hard.
Time to end the post early and think.