Really, unless one is a cat one should not climb into a small, poorly fitted box and get trapped there.
"I really want to...," I kept saying. Only, I was sitting in Jita the entire time. I had wandered there to fit a ship back in October or so and I had never left. One thing after another caught my attention and I never fit ships and moved them.
But, today as I was saying yet again that I'd really like to do .... I realized that I had trapped myself. I had set myself up to fail without meaning to.
When did I ever go to Jita to get fit? When did I ever carefully research ships for the optimal fit for an adventure? When did I ever care? By trying, something in itself not bad, I had discovered that it is not a viable path for me. Even on my own terms I am not into theory crafting and working out fits.
I'll stick to what has worked. I will find people who are good at it and get help. There is a part of me that feels a bit guilty about this. I really feel that I should be more invested in it. But, I'm not. I understand. I can 'read' a fit. But, I can pore over market orders for hours and my eyes glaze in minutes over fitting.
I'm out of Jita now. I'll see what that brings to me. I expect that I'm going to need a bunch of stuff to make things work. Also, I have found, mayhaps some stuff to do.
I also got to go visit my potential new puppy, yesterday. He pushed all ideas of Eve out of my head for the weekend. I'm glad we're still on the holiday cooldown with the CSM.