Wednesday, November 25, 2015

In Which I am Not Socially Acceptable for Public View

Who knew that having terrible reception at work for the last two weeks would be such a positive. I feel nice and clear headed.

For those that attended Eve Vegas, CCP sent out a survey. I appreciate these things and I try to write honestly. I liked most of the events. I also have little else to compare the event to. Eve is the only game that I play that interests me enough to go to wider events.

I did hate on the party. The music was horrifically loud and increase in volume during the night. I suspect as people consumed their alcoholic beverages and their voices rose, the music went up to compensate. All that meant was by 2200 it was unbearably loud and I was yelling at people standing directly beside me.

The first year that I went to Eve Vegas, I skipped the party. The second year I went, but left after a bit of speaking to no one and watching people mingle. The view atop Rio was amazing and I drank that in for several hours. The third year, having been elected to the CSM, people actually talked to me. It was such an amazing and wondrous thing that I was somewhat excited to arrive for the fourth year.

My suggestion was to have the dress code announced. People were surprised by it last time and did not come prepared. I don't carry dress clothing with me most of the time or dress shoes. As expected there was some ruckess over the dress code. I understood people who grumbled because they'd have to dress up. What I did not expect was the people who would sneer at those who did not or did not wish to dress up.

Insults. Names. Belittlement. Snobbery. It is a non-ending cascade of reactions. I have no social life and never do I think about fashion. It left me a bit surprised. Why do people care what others wear? It is a larger question and one that is not new. My perpetual infatuation with the game and the community blind me to the flaws at times and I found myself disgusted by the ugliness of behavior over fancy clothing. The chances are that I am going to ruin your evening dressed nicely or not if something as terrible as a pair of jeans or sandals ruins your magical party night.

Is there a solution? The 'party' aspect of Fanfest and Eve Vegas seem to be entrenched into the expectations of the event. My personal opinion is probably not one to rely on considering my inherent dislike of social situations. I struggle to understand why clothing matters in these situations but somewhere in the vague area of acceptance I know that it does.

However, I've stood up to defend those that do not wish to dress up. Dress clothing makes me feel stupid, not attractive. I could go onto a multi page rant about my distaste for the subject. Let it be said that it is strong and made stronger by those who mock, scorn, ridicule, and smirk at others because of their dress. As far as I am concerned, I am that person and I do not care what society may say about the judgement made over a persons dress. I'm not going to stand by and accept what I disagree with.

It may be that my personality in these things is to forceful. I was told to 'calm down'. That irritated me. Why is it that if I disagree with a social norm, I am not calm? It seems that I may be to blunt or straight forward. Instead of slowly ramping up to a topic I instead stand up and deliver a distilled version of my feelings. It seems easier to me but it also seems to make me 'in need of calming down'.

Ah well. My survey is filled out. I'll continue to champion normal American street clothing. Maybe I'm screaming at the wind. Still, there has to be some way to have a 'party' that isn't wrapped around clothing. Of course, I suspect I'm on the wrong side of the topic.

Ah well.

18 comments:

  1. I agree with it being stupid,
    Doesn't seem like an EVE community event is something where there should be a requirement that we get dolled up to the nines.

    The snobby sneering crap though, that's fairly human as far as I've seen. Give some people half a chance to look down on someone and they usually will.

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    1. I'd love to explore a middle ground.

      Vegas fascinates me as people in gowns and tuxedos walk past people in shorts and fanny packs.

      Delete
  2. I too commented about the painfully loud party venue on the survey (though I didn't mention the dress code). While I've nothing against drinking and dancing to a loud raucous beat (I've even been known to partake), not all game nerds are into that.

    An ear splitting venue that services only a subsection of the conference attendees wouldn't bother me if it was an add on (like the pub crawl) but in this case I, and many others, paid for a party that any thinking organizer would realize didn't appeal to a sizable chunk of conference attendees (being game nerds and all).

    A venue where you could escape the ear splitting volume without having to leave the party all together would have been preferable.

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  3. CCP has a long party tradition. They threw some legendary parties at GDC in SF back in the day. It is part of their corporate culture. And while I am sure not everybody at CCP is a party animal, I have to think that the people who go off to events are more likely to align that way.

    My wife and I had a good time at the party. The venue was nice, the temperature was just about perfect (I was neither sweaty nor chilly), the drinks were free (though I nursed the same Corona all evening because I'm not really a drinker), the music was fun, if predictable, and the dress code was, as I understood it, only in force after our time was up and we were all herded into a corner away from the high rollers.

    We ran into the Signal Cartel people in the center of things when we arrived, so had somebody to chat with then, as things got louder and more crowded, we filtered out to the quieter periphery of the party and talked to random people. I am not a party person and absolutely cannot hear anybody when things go above a certain volume, but I had a good time.

    I am not sure I could come out against the party, since it was pretty much what one would expect to find at such a party.

    That said, it was also the only social event included with the main package. Perhaps there should be something quieter in the mix. Maybe something like a registration day mixer in one of the ballrooms with a cash bar, to keep costs down, some light snacks, and something to get people to introduce themselves around.

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    1. The pleasure that people had in the party is a very interestingly mixed review. I was in an utterly foul temper by the end because of the throbbing, mindless noise of it all. Other people, such as yourself enjoyed it.

      Some of that seems to be expectations. As you said it was as you expected it. My lack of party experience leads me to expect something that I will find pleasant. Perhaps my poor experience and shattered expectations leads me to the general negative view of the event.

      I fully accept that 'parties' are probably not something I should engage in. Out of the six events I have been to if I include Fanfest and Eve Vegas, I have attended the big party part four times. I have enjoyed it once.

      I suspect the problem is me.

      Delete
    2. Wilhelm,

      I am, of course, in complete agreement with your last paragraph and while your first paragraph is helpfully explanatory, it does show a possibly troubling disconnect between CCP and it's customer base. The party wasn't primarily for CCP employees, it was primarily for Eve Vegas attendees.

      The thing is, Vegas has *a lot* of venues. Finding one a little more broadly inviting shouldn't be that difficult (Sugar mentioned Rio, which, though out of the way, provided wonderful views).

      Delete
  4. I NEVER go to a party (or concert) without earplugs. I suggest the same.

    "Calm down" means "submit to our completely arbitrary demand".

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  5. Well, each to his/her own. I had a great time at the party - I enjoyed meeting alliance mates and total strangers, chatting with Devs over beer and fetching watered-down drinks from scantily-clad Vegas girls.

    But I do not presume that this is everyone's thing, I have no issue with people opting out and saying "not for me". Lots of things are not for me and I don't complain about them (didn't even for a second consider joining the pub-crawl for example). Live and let live.

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    1. If we always choose silence and never speak about something or always allow ourselves to be shushed because someone else does not feel the way we do, how will anything be understood by others who are not us?

      I'll continue to complain about things. Especially when my opinion was asked for that thing.

      Delete
  6. You should have worn your Minmatar leather jacket: who could fault that? And I bet it looks good with jeans. As for defending the innocent: that's on you.

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    1. I really need to redo the logo. Its didn't come out aligned properly and it really bugs me.

      Delete
  7. "Please note that the venue for the Saturday night party, Chateau Nightclub & Rooftop, has the following dress code; No Sneakers, Tennis Shoes, Work Boots or Sandals, No Athletic Wear, No Shorts, No Hats. Gentleman must wear collared, button-up shirt and dress shoes."

    This was clearly posted as the dress code for the venue. No exceptions were announced for EvE nerds like us after 11PM. Your complaint as to dress code, despite my general admiring of your advocacy for the playerbase of EvE and your work on the CSM, is part of the breakdown of our society in general. Do we not have to follow the published rules because we play a video game? Is it that onerous not to look like a slob?

    No man had to wear a suit , let alone a tuxedo, and no woman had to wear a dress or skirt, let alone a gown. Is it too much to ask that one not wear beach attire to a nightclub these days?

    I still wear a jacket when I fly. Airlines don't demand it. Travel websites don't even suggest it these days. Want to be treated better on a flight? Give it a try, and women can do the equivalent. If you want to be treated like an adult, please dress like one.

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    1. I'd never expect someone to agree with me all of the time if they liked one thing I did.

      I complain because I do not like it, not because I did not follow the rules. I comment because without discussion the topic cannot be explored to see if there is or is not room to change.

      I pointed out that I asked for the dress code to be announced early so that people would be prepared before they packed.

      None of that means I liked it or found it a satisfying experience.

      My greatest complaint is about the degrading comments people made about others who did not automatically associate clubs with fancy dress codes.

      I will continue to dress like a non-adult for I will not wear jackets or skirts. I will continue to advocate that we treat people like people for being people. Not because of the clothing that they wear.

      Delete
    2. I'm sorry to hear that your society is breaking down.

      Are you sure that this has more to do with poor dress sense rather than snobbery?

      Delete
  8. There are times when you should wear required clothes. I dont think a video game party is one of them.

    Clothing is not part of my personality, because it does not need filling. If you talk to me you will meet a whole person without my clothing. When I'm in a dress coded party/gala/ball/business event I always like to test the people with the fanciest clothing, most of the times you cant draw a decent conversation out of them. They just stand their pretty with a smile, because this is one of the few times they can shine.

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  9. Appearance...
    The only sane way I have ever came to accepting (possibly overcoming) a dress code is by telling myself that I dress only in order to show other people my own interest and respect for them. Not because there is a code.
    Amusingly, not only this possibly helps me learn and sometime improve on such codes (I would much more happily spend on a gift...) ; but it also seems to annoy a lot those who simply bother you with the rules (and like ruling others generally). Cause I do not want to comply to them, I just want to part with others - generally not the same ones!

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  10. Please take this in the spirit of respect and information that it is intended and without any presumption as to your background. But there is a small portion of the population which were taught that dressing appropriate is a way of showing respect to the, event, their peers, host, family and self. The belief makes it true for those people even if it seems silly. As such not complying is seen as disrespectful hence the poor reaction.

    The poor behavior is still that but perhaps it explains why portions of the crowd act the way they do. Simply put their parents taught them a silly thing and they feel both insulted by the garb of others and entitled to be asses about it.

    My own thoughts are why the event planners would create an awkward situation by their choice of venue. That probably was not an appropriate place for this community.

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  11. Well, now I've seen everything.

    " Your complaint as to dress code, despite my general admiring of your advocacy for the playerbase of EvE and your work on the CSM, is part of the breakdown of our society in general."

    Sugar, you've broken our society. How can you live with yourself?

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