Having completed this build I pondered the slow drag of the last two months as I've worked on it. In the end, I did not enjoy building it. I am okay with that. I don't feel as if I wasted time. I'm not unhappy with my choice. There are no regrets. I tried something and after finishing it, I pondered my feelings for the situation.
Fun has been an elusive term for me. I enjoy a lot of things. Sometimes that enjoyment is only discovered once the process is over. It reminds me of some books that I have read. Page for page they did not thrill me but whenever I put them down and the entire story merged together I was entranced by it.
Trying things and the success and failures keep me going. I don't like to fail. I'd love to be perfect at everything that I do. I've yet to find the reality where I am always perfect. Instead, there is a base acceptance that I may or may not do well at something. Trying it what lets me figure it out.
There is a safety to an interactive video game that does not exist in the real world. I cannot just spin up a business and invest a chunk of my savings into it to see if I have any ability to make a profit off of selling things in my day to day life as I can in Eve.
Adventure. Fun. Not fun. Fun in not fun. What more can a girl ask for?