[TL;DR: I'm thinking out loud to clear my mind.]
The worst part about writing what is on my mind is that I sometimes feel weighed down with very complex and passionate topics that are hard to put into coherent word and thought. I've complained a fair bit that tings have been so serious and restless since Fanfest. I believe that it is the tidal wave of change that we can see on the horizon rushing towards us and we are neatly powerless to stop it.
What do you do when you are powerless to stop something? Some just curl up and accept the inevitable. But many of us try to change what we can change. Even as I write this I find myself falling into a possible answer as to what has been bothering me.
I've wanted to write about the desire that we sometimes have to make other people change. I group myself into this. As open minded and accepting as I try to be I still want people to change. I may want them to be open minded and accepting. I may want them to realize that other's are as productive and happy in the game. I may want things that I see as good but they are things that I want other people to do. If I do not accept that I to want to put pressure and change upon things I will drown in my own hypocrisy.
In many ways we want this tidal wave to come in. We want the destruction and change that it will bring. There are many metaphors to catastrophe cleansing things in literature and legend. Eve is a world. Virtual it may be, but it is a world with rules and laws and age. Perhaps I have been reading to many paranormal stories but they often focus on age and how people change over time. Eve has a very similar situation. The game has aged and the players have aged. We spend a lot of time discussing what Eve is because Eve has grown into something that we can no longer neatly fit into parameters.
It leaves all of us, not just CCP, in a situation where we have begun to pick paths that effect change upon the world. It is no longer a simple matter of introducing something or changing a single thing. The ripple effect is very real in this virtual world of ours. A moment of thoughtlessness can, when it finally hits, rip devastating holes in the world.
We can't stop the tidal wave. Some of it is CCP for they do run the game and must move it forward. We have circled in a stagnant pool for years now and we have grown used to the taste of it. Now we want change. We crave change. We fear change. We may not want change. There is such a dichotomy of love and hate at the same time that it is dizzying to keep track of where people are.
It makes me think that the desire to make people behave in ways they do not want to do comes from some of this. Some of it just is part of the nature of some people. I am the type who rebels when told what to do. I know that other's have no issue with telling people to do what they say and are comfortable in their feeling of being utterly correct that their view of the way things should go is the right one. If change must happen; direct it.
That may be what has been leaving me frustrated. There is a huge amount of push and pull happening. The tidal wave is starting to darken the sky as it rushes towards us. What is normally a slow dance has increased its pace as, unable to turn it we try to change what we can about the events that will happen.
We're not all going to succeed. The wave is going to hit.
It's an appeal of Eve. It is also an intense thing. A bit of transcendence between the game play and the conflict between the players. CCP Seagull speaks about players outplaying each other but I wonder if we realize how deep and wide it has the potential to go.