I knew going in but still sad that low sec is not a catagoryThe whole thread is here.
— Sugar Kyle (@Sugar_Kyle) January 16, 2013
I remember being frustrated. Very, very frustrated. I hit search and typed in 'low' and received two hits. This was also right after the removal of the 1/10 and 2/10 static DED complexes. The community that had lost some of its content was looking for answers and we had hoped to see something in the minutes discussing the removal and explaining why it happened. We had a thread up at the time as well that was silent and there was a lot of anger.
This is the period where I bitched a lot about it in the blog. This is also, I suspect, the moment where my first effort to change Eve started and it would lead to my suggesting to CCP Masterplan to bring back the complexes as exploration content at the very least. That particular change was not what the community wanted but we were not going to get what we wanted. I at least wanted to salvage what I could that the content had given us. It wasn't enough for many. Some didn't care. I believed that the complete removal was harmful and I was very worried about the way that low sec was just passed over.
In that singular tweet, and the ensuing conversation, is one of the moments that made me start involving myself in following the CSM and the greater Eve meta in general. It made me want to find a candidate that would promote low sec for the next election and left me distraught when CSM8 would have no one from low sec.
I think I can blame CCP for winding up with me in their faces for the last year starting here. I don't know why I picked up this cause. It isn't like me. Yet, I did. For some reason I pushed out of my normal wallflower state. I remember being angry. Not raging ranting angry. Just furious at being ignored. It is the same anger that I felt as a newbie in Eve Uni chat as people told me that people only lived in low sec because they could not succeed in null sec. I know that those casual comments, made by members of now dead null sec corporations or cast down from their once mighty positions in permanent corps, burned a deep suborn streak in me when it came to the perception of low sec. They are also the earliest nudges, I suspect. I can still name the people who said those things and I still feel an under current of anger at the words.
Anger is a fascinating motivator. Now, two years later, I am packing to go to Fanfest again. Only, things have changed. Low is more than something said twice during the summit. I'm staring at a Fanfest with two low sec round tables. I've had low sec sessions at the summits. I'm going to have to sit back and try to figure out how I got from there to here. Low sec is spoken of differently as well. People may not find it for them but the curled lipped insults that he only reason someone stays in low is inferiority and failure to thrive in null sec I do not hear as often. The concept that it should be a training ground has been beaten down and replaced with an idea of individuality and worth.
And I've been a part of making that change. It is not as tangible a goal as some. However, seen from a distance and over the course of time it is a real one that has gained shape and started to grow into itself.
Not everyone has to take a path. There are to many factors in our lives. I don't believe that I can judge someone by if they have been on the CSM or not. I don't know what their day to day is. Knowing the CSM as I now do I'd prefer them to dedicate their energies to what they can change if that is their goal. I've learned that you can make change without being on the CSM as well. The person, their motivations, their skills, and their tenacity all matter.