Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Of Speech and Writing of Public Thoughts

The results for the Pod and Planet Contest came in. To my surprise, I placed second in the lore category. I'm very happy.

I'm not surprised in that, "I really wanted to win first and am writing the proper things because that is how society wishes me to conduct myself in public instead of going on about how I should have won," type of way. I am surprised that I placed at all. The story that I wrote was not exciting. It did not have a twist. I did not write the story to win. I wrote the story to write it and share a view of the game world.

What I wrote was a moment in the flow of New Eden that I envisioned the day that I read the Dev Blog for teams.  I like stories and world building. I do not read suspense or horror. I'm more prone to drift into multiple book sagas and high fiction. Heinlein fascinates me for the dialog of the characters. I hope to one day have that much control over the page and temperament of the story. That deep dive into the thoughts and reasons of the character enthrall me and when I thought of what I wanted to write that is what captured me.

I also did not write as much as I would have liked to have written. The past two years I have written multiple entries. From my first year where I had no idea what a short story was or how to incorporate Eve into fiction to my second year where I produced more matured visions. This year, when I sat down and tried to find that creative place to find more to write I didn't have it. That energy has been expanded on other things and other projects. I both accept and regret that fact. I can say that I am happy with what I wrote and I am utterly pleased that others enjoyed it.

I am comfortable writing for myself and for other people. I'm comfortable communicating in text as a medium and feeling that I can transfer my thoughts and ideas. That makes times when I break out of that mold uncomfortable.

I had my interview for CSMX with Cap Stable on Saturday. They put it up on Tuesday. Writing and speaking are different. I try to write as I speak but when I speak it sometimes seems as if I am rampaging out of control. The interviews are also set up in question and answer so I try to express my thought completely. I think that for some, hearing my speak has more impact than reading because I cannot edit and clean up what I say as I can my text. Little may they know that I rarely edit and clean up my text....

There is also the medium that people enjoy. I started reading for pleasure in the third grade (around nine years of age) and that has only accelerated. I watched television as a child but I had little access to it as I got older. My father controlled the television and when he came home he'd change the channel to whatever he wanted to watch. I learned not to become attached to programs and eventually I lost my interest in watching things that I'd never be able to finish. This was before streaming and on demand television.

The side effect was that I never developed the habit of watching television. I read instead and my mother would take me to the library on the weekend and allow me to check out 20 or so books on average which I consumed over the course of the week. In fact, I read so much that I out read my age section, then the science fiction and fantasy section, then the fiction section, and I moved onto history and classics developing a taste for the American Civil War while I was at it.

I often forget that not everyone enjoys reading as I do. My reading has slowed down as I've gotten older but that is because I am interrupted by things like work as well as the fact that I've taken to doing some writing. This blog has been a beautiful lessen in focus and writing discipline for me. Knowing that I can write every day is wonderful and gives me hope for my writing future. Having something to write every day is a bit harder. For something like the CSM where I am working with people, I have to step out of my personal comfort zone. I cannot assume that everyone wants to read blog post after blog post and so I do things such as the interviews and open talks in an effort to bring myself to people.

Hopefully it works, but it is never a comfortable thing. I speak reasonably well. I say the same thing that I would write and I say it in the same matter. It is still a strange thing,  to me, to do these voice chats. I don't think I'll ever get over that feeling. I was always told to hush when young. Now people tell me to talk. And so I shall, when there is need. I do not think it is something that I will soon become used to doing.


  1. "I do not read suspense or horror."

    Perhaps not but your Pod & Planet entry was poetically disturbing in all the right ways.

  2. I enjoyed your story. The human scale is what makes it especially effective.

    After listening to your pod cast, I'd say, good answers, but the part of me that took voice lessons wants to remind you to breathe. You tend to realize that you have a longer sentence than your breath will support and then you try to get it all tumbled out quickly and you take a sharp, jagged breath at the end of it. It makes you sound nervous, and it makes the ends of your sentences harder to understand. When your voice is well supported it sounds good and it's easy to follow.

    It's a common enough error. I still do it if I forget myself. But it's much easier to keep talking and much less likely to hurt your throat if you do it right.