Skip to main content

It's Been a While...

There have been many changes of late.

Tonight, if I were to imagine my hangar, I'd walk down the line of my ships. I'd see the familiar, battered, well used hulls of my Jaguars, Sleipnirs, Omens, and Stabbers nestled in their docks. I'd pass my Stilettos and Ares, their paint worn and flaked away. I'd walk past those dim lights and the steady hum as they wait, ready for me to make my way to the end where a stack of new ships wait for me. They are my future. Unknown and untouched by time and familiarity. These vast battleships and heavily armored Ishtar. My crew would load massive projectiles and enormous, vibrant crystals. Drones would buzz around as systems checks organized and programmed them to their new homes. And I'd stand among them with my past and future tangled into one, confused thread.

Kaeda and I were talking about how quickly you become rusty with PvP. I found myself nervous as I made my way home from work. I was excited. It has been a bit since I've gone on a scheduled op. I was also nervous. Everything was new. I was stepping into unfamiliar territory.

You get familiar with the people around you. You learn what your Fleet Commanders want. Their voice and their tempo become second nature. The behaviors and habits are all ingrained until you understand them at an instinctual level. But all that has to be learned and until it is learned there are pauses and hesitations. 

I really hate messing up. So, I listened to music.

There are many types of PvP. We all know that but knowledge and experience are different. I've often advocated learning before doing and people tell me that eventually, you have to do. I agree but if I had not learned first, I'd never be able to do.

That didn't mean I didn't make mistakes. In fact, if anything the last few days feel like a steady wave of mistakes. There are so many little things I dont have. T2 ammo for my rail guns. T2 large artillery ammunition. Medium beam ammo. I need scrips. I realized that I've never plugged an Omnidirectional onto a ship since the script changes. Last night I had to make another run for little things and before I went to bed I jumped into my slave clone.

Things are different. And when I undocked my Ishtar I might as well have never flown one before. I'm not good at sentry stuff. I am not good at the concept of them. I thank my experience with Titans during my first year. It stops me from making the type of dumb mistakes no one ever forgives you for. So I know what to do, but I'm so slow with it. Deploying drones. Using drones. Shooting the targets. I'm just bad at everything. Hesitant. Slow. Cautious with selecting broadcasted targets and listening to the FC. I know what I am doing but nothing works smoothly.

But, that is okay. I'm not lost. It was a tower op. I knew what to do. I paid attention. Everything else was closed. Only Sugar logged in. My chatroom ignored. I had to listen otherwise I would not hear. Listening is not about the sound coming into your ears and splattering across receptors. It is about processing what is said. It is about hearing what is said and that is something that you learn to do.

I also don't assume. I wait to be told to shoot things. Later, when I understand the rythem and flow, I will be able to make my choices faster and with more decisions. But today, I am back in the time when I didn't know to detach and take out the blackbird/falcon without FC approval. I'm back when I am the last one to warp because I don't remember hearing things are free burn and in fact it may not have been said.


I was shaking before I left the station. So nervous! What a good impression I wanted to make. And so I flew and kept my mouth shut. I shot, I targeted, I scooped my drones, and broadcasted when I was damaged. I helped to kill things. I managed not to shoot people I should not shoot. And I made it through without getting lost or called out. I made it back home, I docked, and I collapsed into a little tired puddle. 

That is where I wanted to be. Everything else will catch up.

Comments

  1. Time to move to low sec.
    CCP is fucking up wormholes as a small corp environment

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They fuck over everyone to serve the Lords of Nul. You wormholers have NO right to be independent, except as a target for the CFC.
      I wouldn't be surprised if there was another T20 incedent ongoing and unreported. Last time they shot the messenger.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sugar’s Non-Technical Guide to Making Boosters

Welcome to my non-technical and outdated but probably still useful guide to boosters.  There have been changes to how things are built in Eve. This was the old POS code before the introduction of new structures in 2016.   This is just a walk through on my wobbling path of booster production.  It took me half a dozen different documents to figure out what I needed to do to make these mythical things.  It is what I do.  It may not be perfect but it works.

This is pirate focused industry.
This guide brought to you by Lain asking me to write it after I tried to explain it in chat.

Why make boosters? Because drugs are good.  Really they are performance enhancers and performance enhancers can give someone that extra edge in PvP.  It was also because my boys used them and when they ran low they often ran out, I could be their supplier.  They would no longer hoard their drugs due to the length of time it takes to get fresh product.. The thought of being a drug kingpin was also very appealing. …

Will the real player please stand up?

I installed Eve on my Surface the other day. I then remembered why my last laptop, when I was playing Eve, was an Alienware gaming laptop. My Surface, wonderful creature that it is, runs Eve at such a tiny magnification that I squint to see it. I could change my settings and adjust for this. Instead, I'll stick to my desktop and try to remember to log in and see the latest round of changes.

Yet, here I am writing.

Deep in the muzzy field of my brain that has been working almost daily for the last six weeks, random thoughts bubble up. I may not log in and spend my time focusing on Eve as a world, but it hasn't slipped from me. I've picked up an amazing group of friends that I talk to daily and many of them still play enough that I skim the social edges. At times I'm angry that the same social problems exist. At others, I'm fascinating by the process.

Today is a fascinating day because I've been answering e-mails. I still get e-mails occasionally from people who …

Memoirs - Part One: Virtual Worlds

Virtual Realities: Memoirs of an internet spaceship politician by Sugar Kyle CSM9, CSMX
This is where it really started. The day I lost my mind.

I never told anyone how long I had been debating my run for the ninth CSM. The thought started to circle in the back of my thoughts in November. I was back home after a sucessful Eve Vegas. I had met a few people. My notes from the presentations and round tables had gone over very well. I felt useful, comfortable, and excited that I was a member of the community. I belonged and I cared about this thing that I belonged to. That thing was the community of Eve Online.
Eve Vegas of 2013 was when I found out that a conversation I had been fortunate enough to have with CCP Masterplan at Fanfest of that same year, had sparked enough interest to gain developer attention. At Eve Vegas I learned that they would be working on ideas based off of the premise that I had presented. Only days later, a developer posted to the Offical Eve Online forums about i…