Skip to main content

It's Been a While...

There have been many changes of late.

Tonight, if I were to imagine my hangar, I'd walk down the line of my ships. I'd see the familiar, battered, well used hulls of my Jaguars, Sleipnirs, Omens, and Stabbers nestled in their docks. I'd pass my Stilettos and Ares, their paint worn and flaked away. I'd walk past those dim lights and the steady hum as they wait, ready for me to make my way to the end where a stack of new ships wait for me. They are my future. Unknown and untouched by time and familiarity. These vast battleships and heavily armored Ishtar. My crew would load massive projectiles and enormous, vibrant crystals. Drones would buzz around as systems checks organized and programmed them to their new homes. And I'd stand among them with my past and future tangled into one, confused thread.

Kaeda and I were talking about how quickly you become rusty with PvP. I found myself nervous as I made my way home from work. I was excited. It has been a bit since I've gone on a scheduled op. I was also nervous. Everything was new. I was stepping into unfamiliar territory.

You get familiar with the people around you. You learn what your Fleet Commanders want. Their voice and their tempo become second nature. The behaviors and habits are all ingrained until you understand them at an instinctual level. But all that has to be learned and until it is learned there are pauses and hesitations. 

I really hate messing up. So, I listened to music.

There are many types of PvP. We all know that but knowledge and experience are different. I've often advocated learning before doing and people tell me that eventually, you have to do. I agree but if I had not learned first, I'd never be able to do.

That didn't mean I didn't make mistakes. In fact, if anything the last few days feel like a steady wave of mistakes. There are so many little things I dont have. T2 ammo for my rail guns. T2 large artillery ammunition. Medium beam ammo. I need scrips. I realized that I've never plugged an Omnidirectional onto a ship since the script changes. Last night I had to make another run for little things and before I went to bed I jumped into my slave clone.

Things are different. And when I undocked my Ishtar I might as well have never flown one before. I'm not good at sentry stuff. I am not good at the concept of them. I thank my experience with Titans during my first year. It stops me from making the type of dumb mistakes no one ever forgives you for. So I know what to do, but I'm so slow with it. Deploying drones. Using drones. Shooting the targets. I'm just bad at everything. Hesitant. Slow. Cautious with selecting broadcasted targets and listening to the FC. I know what I am doing but nothing works smoothly.

But, that is okay. I'm not lost. It was a tower op. I knew what to do. I paid attention. Everything else was closed. Only Sugar logged in. My chatroom ignored. I had to listen otherwise I would not hear. Listening is not about the sound coming into your ears and splattering across receptors. It is about processing what is said. It is about hearing what is said and that is something that you learn to do.

I also don't assume. I wait to be told to shoot things. Later, when I understand the rythem and flow, I will be able to make my choices faster and with more decisions. But today, I am back in the time when I didn't know to detach and take out the blackbird/falcon without FC approval. I'm back when I am the last one to warp because I don't remember hearing things are free burn and in fact it may not have been said.


I was shaking before I left the station. So nervous! What a good impression I wanted to make. And so I flew and kept my mouth shut. I shot, I targeted, I scooped my drones, and broadcasted when I was damaged. I helped to kill things. I managed not to shoot people I should not shoot. And I made it through without getting lost or called out. I made it back home, I docked, and I collapsed into a little tired puddle. 

That is where I wanted to be. Everything else will catch up.

Comments

  1. Time to move to low sec.
    CCP is fucking up wormholes as a small corp environment

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They fuck over everyone to serve the Lords of Nul. You wormholers have NO right to be independent, except as a target for the CFC.
      I wouldn't be surprised if there was another T20 incedent ongoing and unreported. Last time they shot the messenger.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Charm of the Familar

With a few picked up a shifts at work due to the holidays. I pondered logging in but I didn't have the energy to do so. Being able to say no to logging in is pleasant. Just as my youngest puppy interrupts me every fifteen minutes to pee, going to sleep instead of staying up is also pleasant. I had a lot of short slept nights when I was active in a corporation.

My next plan has been to learn how to scan again. The new map is in and I need to refresh my scanning skills. My hold is full of probes. My ship appears to be reasonably set up. I remembered how to hit my F key to cloak. In fact, I hit it a bit to fast. I need to get the ebb and flow of the tic back down.

I am also rusty in my paranoia. I idly switch to another window to research breadbowls and the soup I want to make later. Then I remember I am sitting, decloaked, off of a gate somewhere. Whoops. I did figure out a breadbowl recipe and soup as well.

The question was where do I relearn to scan? I need somewhere off the beate…

TCS: Sugar's Non-Technical Guide to Her Low Sec Market

Gevlon shocked me by featuring my store in his blog, yesterday. My entire project has been something I mostly scraped together and have bumbled through to the best of my ability and sense. Early on, I started a naming dynamic to my posts so that people could avoid the blogs about the store. These blogs are titled TCS. Also, if you search for TCS those particular blogs are available.

I decided to create a more cohesive naming strategy because someone said, “I don’t know how interested your readers will be in your market posts.” I didn’t either. I wasn't going to not write them because I write about whatever interests me. It seemed that a naming convention would correct the situation. However, I’ve started to receive a trickle of eve-mail and e-mail about what I am doing. Sometimes people ask me for advice on how to approach their own low sec market or what they should pick and choose or just how to pick and choose.

Cheradenine Harper asked me about moving forward into the wider mark…

Passion is so circular

I should dust the blog and delete the spam to leaks in through googles not so bad filters.

I log in from time to time to check my mail and see some of my friends. But, of lat I've commented on a few things in r/eve and it makes me think. Not of the impassioned things that I once thought about as I played the game but of the passions of the game.

I have the gift of several eve players are parts of my life. And we talk, but rarely about Eve. Most of them have left to some extent or another but the relationship that we gained is still strong. I do not hate Eve but I am still exhausted with Eve, even now when I am so far out. It seems to be CSM summit time and the anger and race that sits atop everything related to the game is still there.

It is interesting in its exhaustive existence. The passion is there and the player reaction continues to go full circle. Some things are still said the same way over, and over, and over again. Is it love? Is it hate? Or is it just stimulation that i…