Skip to main content

This is My Burn Jita Post

This is a Goonswarm post. I figured that it would fit well during the weekend of Burn Jita. I don't discuss Goonswarm often. In fact, I tend to go out of my way to not discuss them even when the topic pertains to them. This is not because I have any particular love or hatred for Goonswarm. It is because their very name conjures a emotional hurricane that often clouds the topic. However, on a weekend of in game hurricanes I decided to indulge myself considering what happened and how amusing I found it to be.

Before I start, let me put a plug in for plo and his freighter service Galactic Hauling Solutions Incorporated. He used to work for Black Frog and let and started his own service for a 50 million flat free to do low sec jumps. We chatted when he'd be in space, lighting cynos.

And on with the rest of my post...

I was in Jita buying things for TCS when I received an eve-mail that left me in stitches. Often, in Jita it is random invites to channels. This time it was a mail and the mail was a Goonswarm recruitment scam. The recruiter, Mishirosen, was going down the name list in Jita and sending out a mass mail. It is well written and well presented.

The first stage is the hook. Once I reply with my excitement and API they would reel me in. If I were good at this type of thing I would have responded and seen what else he had to say. Instead I was quite delighted and amused. Some will get worked up and send nasty messages. As I understand it, members are allowed to do recruitment scams and the onus is on those who fall for them.

The actual steps to joining GoonWaffe are listed on the Goonfleet Wiki. They recruit from the Something Awful Forums. Some get vouched in but not many. A quick search will hit upon dozens and dozens of references to the Goonswarm recruitment scam. But, a huge sum of Eve's players do not seek information outside of the game's interface and they jump at the chance to join one of the biggest and best known groups.

I get a lot of search hits for corporation scams in Eve Online. This is one of the very well known. People, for some unknown reason, continue to give these recruiters all of their stuff and huge piles of ISK. It is one of those things about Eve where people can lie to you and take your stuff, even over corporations. If said response is amusing enough it is sent to everyone to enjoy.

I left the actual mail under the cut.



--------------------------------
GSF 2014 Recruitment drive.
From: Mishirosen

Hi there, as Recruitment Director of Goonwaffe I am pleased to announce that you have been selected for GoonWaffe's 2014 recruitment drive! This is a rare opportunity that is not given out often!
If you are interested, simply EVEmail me back with a short message telling me about yourself and what you like to do in EVE, as well as a full API key (You can use this link in an out of game browser). I will get back to you ASAP. If you have friends that also want to join they are hereby invited to contact me for a chance at recruitment as well.
Not interested yet? No worries, your name has been put on a whitelist and you can always contact me later if you change your mind.
Why was I picked?
We have headhunters roaming all the far reaches of space looking for individuals that show intelligence, leadership, good intuition or just plain high skills. Once they are found they will be put on the master recruitment list, which is where we send messages from.
Who is GoonWaffe?
GoonWaffe is one of EVEs biggest corporations, and the leading corporation of the Goonswarm Federation, the most prestigious and influential alliance in the entirety of EVE. We own vast swathes of 0.0 space and have an unparalleled combat and financial record. Normally our recruitment is closed to everyone but people from the somethingawful.com forums and a select few individuals, but we decided that until December 31st 2014 our doors are open to a larger selection of people.
I'm not really a fan of PvP, is there a place for me?
Absolutely! Any good miner or manufacturer knows that it is his (or her) work that enables all the ships we field to be built in the first place, and it is the taxes we earn from PvEers that gives our corporation the enormous warchest that it uses to project its power anywhere in the galaxy. We aim to provide a place suitable for all these kinds of people to thrive and become wealthy, and have done so successfully by providing systems free from hostiles and a logistics and market infrastructure to suit your every need for many years now. The upcoming summer expansion will also give a massive boost to all kinds of nullsec industry from mining and production to research and invention. On top of that there are NO MANDATORY OPS. All participation in corp and alliance events is completely optional.
I am a huge fan of PvP/want to try PvP, what is there for me?
There are fleets up nearly 24/7 for every size and type of PvP you can think of, anywhere from 10 to 2000 pilots flying anything from frigates to capital ships. You name it we got it. You will never be required to participate in any fleet you don't want to participate in, and we have a full reimbursement program for every ship you lose in a fleet, so there is no need to be afraid of losing your ISK fighting with us. We also have programs to train pilots in all the nuances of the combat, or to get pilots into capital ships cheaply and easily if they so desire.

If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask me, there's no such thing as a stupid question.
----------------------------------------------------------

I find the entire thing terribly amusing. I snicker every time I get to the flattery bit.

Comments

  1. Thanks for the tip about plo. I may need some stuff hauled through low in the near future. I could JF or BR it myself, but it's awfully tempting to just pay someone! Like IRL. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was a fun read. I think most of that email is actually true. Which is probably why it works.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sugar’s Non-Technical Guide to Making Boosters

Welcome to my non-technical and outdated but probably still useful guide to boosters.  There have been changes to how things are built in Eve. This was the old POS code before the introduction of new structures in 2016.   This is just a walk through on my wobbling path of booster production.  It took me half a dozen different documents to figure out what I needed to do to make these mythical things.  It is what I do.  It may not be perfect but it works.

This is pirate focused industry.
This guide brought to you by Lain asking me to write it after I tried to explain it in chat.

Why make boosters? Because drugs are good.  Really they are performance enhancers and performance enhancers can give someone that extra edge in PvP.  It was also because my boys used them and when they ran low they often ran out, I could be their supplier.  They would no longer hoard their drugs due to the length of time it takes to get fresh product.. The thought of being a drug kingpin was also very appealing. …

Have you done your Eve Vegas Survey?

I did attend Eve Vegas to the shock of many. I'd already paid for it and allotted the time. It seemed that I should go.


I went to the Grand Canyon and Hoover as well. This is not the space to discuss those amazing places or my new Camera.

Eve Vegas was a bit harder for me to go to then I expected. I've detached from Eve for the most part these past months. It is very easy to be angry, frustrated, and bitter about the past that I lived on. The game, its development, and the players move on while I find myself emotionally stuck. That emotional stickiness does not need to be given to everyone else. Part of experiencing it was shielding people from it. But, as I accepted my items and stared down the poor gentleman that tried to put a wristband around my wrist, I realized that I wasn't in as good of a place as I had hoped to be.

That is where the Survey comes in. There are a few things that I could say and did say. A few of the questions made me want to say a bit more.

One was …

Your ideal roadmap

To try to be a bit more interesting then blogging yet another daily list of summit meetings, how about a question?

In the producer session, as we try to figure out how to fix and improve our communication with teams and how we figure out who should be gone to for features and changes, we discussed the road map.

We discussed what 'our' ideal roadmap would be. This breaks down into the individual roadmaps for each member of the CSM. After all, we are individiuals and we have different dreams for Eve. We have different goals and features that we want to move forward or go back to.

How close are we to what CCP is looking at and planning? We discussed their safety mesures to weigh the value of features. What will this feature do for Eve? It is not enough to have an ideal road map of things you want. Those things have to have value and that value needs to be enough to dedicate the time to the feature.

Do you have an ideal roadmap? A path for Eve to head in the next year or two once …