Sunday, October 27, 2013

The Golden Pod is not Golden

I must announce that the emperor has no clothes.

I hate to bring this to the forefront of thought and communication but it appears that CCP has mislabeled the Golden Pod also known as Capsule - Genolution 'Auroral' 197-variant.


If CCP had come forward and labeled the so called Golden Pod as Capsule - Genolution 'Auroral' 197-variant, I'd not be writing this today. Instead, I stand before you feeling a bit hurt. Has CCP foisted a Bronze pod upon us and labeled it a Golden Pod?


The evidence suggests that this may be so. Of course, the title Golden is but a marketing term. The real name, above, does not state that the pod is gold. Nor does the implant description or the casual description itself contain the word 'gold'.
This hydrostatic capsule is a unique variant on the standard model. Its golden sheen is nominally decorative material, whose role and purpose are highly classified and which dissipates entirely upon reprocessing. It is known that the capsule's regular building materials are intermixed with traces of another matter, the exact nature of which remains unknown to everyone outside Genolution's research facilities, even the capsuleers themselves. 
Theories on the subject include Fullerene Intercalated Graphite polymer for better function of internal parts without the added heat of internal friction; a meld of Fullerite-C320 and Fullerite-C540 for an extra-strengh shell that can better withstand the rigors of continued operation under stress (albeit not, sadly, withstand a few direct hits from another vessel's weapon), or just a thin coating of some newly invented sheen compound.
The capsule's primary function remains to keep the capsuleer alive - even to the point of sending their consciousness to a nearby cloning vat, in the event of imminent obliteration - and allowing for the operation of the massive interstellar vessels in which the capsule is usually encased. This variant can only be operated by those capsuleers wearing the Genolution 'Auroral' AU-79 implant, and will be automatically replaced upon destruction.
Is this just a terrible marketing ploy? Is the bronze pod but an accident? A mistake of labeling and nothing else? Should my lonely Velator not shoot the monument while I spam Jita with demands to make the pod more gold? Shiny glittery gold. Bling that will blind gankers and cause sunspots when I zoom in too close.


"But Sugar, no one else cares! You brought the stupid thing and plugged in the implant. Why the hell are you flying around in a pod anyway? This is a rather idiotic complaint. Space is dark too. Maybe it just needs headlights."

Sure, sure, sure. There are such words as that and perhaps thoughts too on this subject. But none of them invalidate the bronzeness of the so called 'golden' pod. Nor the not harm that has occurred to me as I long for it to be super shiny and glittery like the picture. Woe is me. Woe is thee! Is it the end of times already?

Can such a thing be so completely ignored?

11 comments:

  1. All that is gold does not glitter,
    Not all those who wander are lost;

    +5 Nerdcred for anyone who can quote the rest ;)

    Still haven't decided if I want to plug in mine or put it into my collectibles container - so hard to make decisions while running arround with a Riftermodel making zoomzoom noises ...

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    Replies
    1. Stephen Colbert would be able to quote it...

      Make it so that if people shoot at the Jita monument EVE devs get a mail that someone is discontent and protesting. Give us yellow brick pods in the NEX store.

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  2. If it's called a golden pod and the picture on the box shows a gold pod, you kinda expect it to be gold. I've tried to keep the faith with CCP but it's quickly waning. I'd even go so far as to say that "golden pod" was an outright scam.

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  3. I guess it's horrible of me but i think this is hilarious. Please do go shoot the monument.

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    Replies
    1. My.moment of glory as my Velator gets off one maybe two shots before faction police stamp me and some players pods my bronze glory.

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    2. And the flame is now blue rather than the much preferred green. A definite downgrade. You've been hoodwinked.

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  4. I shall sell my implant, then. I was looking forward to my golden pod, but if it isn't all nice an shiny, well, at least there's profit.

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  5. It is a travesty, after I'd bragged to all my friends about my new shiny gold pod that was being custom made for me to find out that I've ended up with a bronzed one simply won't do.

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  6. Check to see if your shader quality is set to Low. The golden pod is neither gold nor shiny unless your shader quality is set to medium or high.
    Low: http://i.imgur.com/aM6H5jB.png
    Medium: http://i.imgur.com/X2qVhKK.png

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