Skip to main content

-tisticle

Actions have consequences in Eve. Not just the mistakes that we make as a player but our social actions have consequences. We often consider them diplomatic situations. Shooting a blue. Ganking an alt. Ratting in the wrong space? But there are others and it is a wild and crazy world for a new player. The mega game is unknown. I learned fear before I learned confidence. I don’t speak of true fear. The type where I am scared. I speak of the resonating emotion that reflects what we do in the game. The concerns about mistakes and the worries about actions. The fear of embarrassing your corporation or causing them problems.

The first time I was directly threatened it was by a member of Rooks and Kings. He then added that my corp was not large enough to make an interesting video for them so it would not be worth the time to come after us. I was still worried. Who had I offended? How would it negatively affect the boys? I didn't understand a thing about Eve or PvP at that point.

Over time I’ve often avoided situations and confrontations with people. Not because I worried for myself. I’m a believer in reaping what you sow when it comes to interactions. More, I was worried about how it would affect other people who had not asked for what I was bringing.  Mixed in with my own insecurities I was always cautious when dealing with people. Add in the natural aspects of my personality and rarely am I out right offensive to people. Unless I am irritated.

But at the core of what we do there is ego. There is the soul of a persons personality. There is a lot about Ego in Eve. It is an interesting word. It is one that has meaning and definition on its own but that has been given negative connotations it does not deserve. It is a word I have been thinking about a lot recently in relation to Eve. When I found myself shying away from it I picked it up and put it down in the middle of the room where I could walk around it and ponder it.

Ego has a lot of worries that derive from it. Egotistical. Egomaniac. Negative words that pollute the basic concept of Ego being a persons self confidence. Even reading the definitions and uses of Ego it is a very flexible word. I often poke at serious topics when writing about Eve. I do this because my time in Eve is about socializing with people. Even if I am having an alone time I am a member of a group. That group is a part of a larger community. Beyond that connections stretch and thin and become more personal and less group oriented which changes their basic structure.

Ego is a driving focus. It is a core principle of successful leadership. It is also a core principle of unsuccessful leadership.  It is both good and bad depending on how it is applied. Some of the people with the most focused egos in the game as the most charismatic and successful. We are all motivated by it on different levels.

DP once commented about bloggers and ego. I rolled the topic around my mind for months. I try not to be egotistical. It is not the vision of myself that I wish to have. It is one that some people will have of me. I cannot convince everyone that I am fantastic. But really, it isn't egotistical that he said. It is about ego. My blog is an aspect of my ego. It is my thoughts and opinions my conclusions and my views. I cannot deny that my thoughts are mine nor do I wish to exist in a perpetual state of no opinion. I’d never get anything done.

But ego is not always arrogance. It is easy for the two to intertwine. And arrogance is not always a negative. It can be the strength a leader needs to support the people following them. In a way you can borrow confidence. I’m a firm believer that this happens with a solid fleet commander.  In that trust is the borrowing of that confidence. The belief that at this moment we are going to achieve our goals spills over.

And my ego affects me. My decision to blog. My decision to share what I share. It brings with it consequences. They are not always bad. They are not always good. People will agree and they will disagree. I will never be able to entertain everyone with every post. And sometimes, I will make people angry.

My decision to speak about the Angry Oddelulf Newbie was a conscious one. I was surprised when he responded. Not surprised that he would respond. The amount of time he devoted to speaking in local has told me that he is willing to talk. More along the fact that someone went out of their way to figure out who he was and send him to the blog.

When I woke to five comment notification e-mails and each one a full page I thought about what to do. I decided to do nothing. After all, I had written about him first. If he chose to rip away the thin veil of anonymity and proceed to tell me that I am wrong and need to learn about Eve I'm not going to stop him. If I am going to open my mouth it would be ridiculous for me to stop the subject of my discussion from presenting their counter argument. 


He says he is not angry. I shall consider him my unwilling muse. His palatable non-anger is fascinating.

Comments

  1. As a master of Rage I can say this dude is hella angry.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sugar’s Non-Technical Guide to Making Boosters

Welcome to my non-technical and outdated but probably still useful guide to boosters.  There have been changes to how things are built in Eve. This was the old POS code before the introduction of new structures in 2016.   This is just a walk through on my wobbling path of booster production.  It took me half a dozen different documents to figure out what I needed to do to make these mythical things.  It is what I do.  It may not be perfect but it works.

This is pirate focused industry.
This guide brought to you by Lain asking me to write it after I tried to explain it in chat.

Why make boosters? Because drugs are good.  Really they are performance enhancers and performance enhancers can give someone that extra edge in PvP.  It was also because my boys used them and when they ran low they often ran out, I could be their supplier.  They would no longer hoard their drugs due to the length of time it takes to get fresh product.. The thought of being a drug kingpin was also very appealing. …

CSM: Running for Office: Week Six

Nine days untill  the polls open.

It is amazing how much effort can go into crafting thirteen hundred characters. When I first looked at my CSM application I thought that it would be easy to write the official words. Of course it was not. The limit was the largest hurdle. I had so much to say and so few words to say it in. But, I eventually worked through it and submitted everything last Sunday evening. I sent off my passport at the same time and now it is just a short, but long wait.

Tomorrow is the final day of application submissions. Then, on the 3rd, we should find out who actually submitted their applications and passports and passed their background checks. The polls open the following Tuesday. I’ve checked my submission a few times. If I try to fill out the form with Sugar again it tells me that she has already submitted one. I sent my e-mail to the correct place. How I wish for a confirmation email to stare at. For now, i just fret. When I started the run I was worried about …

Busy, busy, busy

I find that it is still easy to write about Eve. However, I've not been playing Eve. I spent most of the last few weeks finishing up my crochet project. It was a birthday present for my best friend. Since someone expressed interest in it, here it is.




It is displayed on a king size bed. I made it as a birthday present for my best friend. We've had twenty years of friendship. I met her online when I was a teenager. Our birthdays are two weeks apart so I celebrated mine by making her something. I'm not one to celebrate birthdays but now and then I try to pull myself to a social norm and do something special for the people I love.

I spent a long time fighting to be myself. I finally discovered a balance in this last handful of years. It is still a struggle but for some reason, in my late thirties, understanding is moving briskly along. With that understanding comes comfort. I don't have to fight about and for things like I used to. I don't have to make anyone accept me…