Skip to main content

Ramblings: Of Life and the Internet

[TL;DR: I am content with my video game and online focused life and chew over why it is not a 'real' life in the defines of 'having' a life]

This time I woke up with a cat hacking up a hair ball on my back. I was able to eject her from that position before she accomplished her task. But the sunlight filtered in through my blinds, and I stared out at a deep blue sky and rich, green foliage. Summer is here in the USA. Real summer where it gets hot and the sun is up a lot and its quite beautiful from an air conditioned window. And I mean real summer, like real spring and not an Icelandic Summer which is probably like a US late Fall considering what an Icelandic Spring/First Day of Summer is like... anyway...

With warm 'good' weather (I'm a fall/cool but not Icelandic cool weather person) people often go off to do other things. This is at times called, having a life. While I understand this longing for a life and do not begrudge anyone their lifetime adventures one of its side effect is people start to quit the computer to go off and do things and they do not have 'time' for the internet anymore. Or, they decide that the internet is a horrible creature invading their lives and must be cast off to have a 'real life'. I then here how their life/time/whatever has been wasted for the past X/Y/Z amount because of internet/game/non-life.

This is where I sigh.

At work, we often have discussions about things like the perception of the internet. My co-workers may harass me for being a gamer. I ask them what is the difference between my playing my various games and their watching football, often while consuming vast quantities of alcohol to the point that they don't really remember what happened during their pastime. We do things we enjoy in the same chunks of free time. Many of my co workers say that as soon as they get home they are intoxicated and stay that way over their days off. I don't drink so I am missing out, I am informed. Why is theirs defined as a life and mine is not? Often times they say because they can do these things with people or at places. I point out that I can and have done the same. It may not be every weekend but I am not a social person that has any desire to go out and hang out every weekend, or most weekends.

People go out and go to sporting games and socialize. How is this different from me going to meets and making IRL friends out of online friends? I've mentioned my best-friend before. We both just turned 34 (out birthdays are 2 weeks apart). We met at 16. She is riding her motorcycle down to my house next week to hang out with me over the holiday. We normally see each other once or twice a year (we live about 500 miles apart) but the last two years have been busy and messy for us both. I probably will not post much if at all for that span of time because writing takes a lot of focus. Instead, the two of us will play video games, cook food, make candy, and catch up to each other with face time.

Did I mention I met her online, in a chat room, eighteen years ago? We've both grown up, gotten married, she divorced her wife last year, and our lives have moved on while our friendship has stayed strong and been a focus and positive for both of us for over half of our lives?

How real is my life? I work an average of 90 hours every two weeks. I have a home, car, pets, hobbies. I like video games and spend a lot of time at them. I read and write not just about Eve but reading and writing have always been my major pass times. I'm fortunate to be at a point in life where I do not need a second job as I held for most of my adult life to make ends meet. I love my video games and spend a lot of time with them. Do they destroy my life and take away the reality of human to human interaction?

Would I ever have traveled to Iceland and soaked in the Blue Lagoon if not for Eve? Would I have run around Vegas with people I have met IRL because of relationships online? This October I'm going to go and see the Grand Canyon, something I've always wanted to do, after Eve Vegas. After all, its only a fourish hour drive there from Vegas. I meet people and go places, how is that not part of a life? I don't consider myself that well travelled but I have been to more places and seen more of the world, met more people and experienced more things than many of the people I know that have 'real' lives compared to my 'wasted' life.

As a teen I was involved in a MUD (text based online RPG). We had meets up in PA once a year. I wrote 30,000 rooms and built fifty areas for that game. One of the creators of that MUD went on to be hired by Blizzard because of the MUD and technical abilities he had developed there. He went on to be part of Star Wars the Old Republic. I smiled when I saw his name int he developmental credits. He is currently working on his own gaming company. Another of that games developers wound up with a job at my best friends company that she helped him get, years after we stopped playing the game, because he was the perfect fit for the position and because of that they are now employed by a company who likes primary colors in their world known name.

I know well that someone can enter a game to the detriment of their life. But they can do that with anything be it television, movies, any other hobby, drugs, alcohol or even work. Life, to me, is defined by what you do with it. What you make of it. I've never understood why one must throw down their computer, their internet acquaintances and find 'life' as if it can only be found out in the sun.

I know that there is a social stigma around video games, still. And social pressures can be, and often are enormous. For others it is going cold turkey, to break an addiction. That to, I understand. One can have to much of anything to the detriment of ones life. I've developed a pretty hard line for when I will go to bed and I enforce it upon myself even if that means leaving fleets and missing out on grand, in game adventures with those that I play with. That's part of being an adult and something anyone may have to do for anything in their lives.

Life goes on. Things come and go. Changes need to happen on various levels for various reasons. It just seems that the internet or games are always a demon hindering a full life, in these things. And it is not. I count myself fortunate for the chances, opportunities, and people I have met because of the internet and games. May I find more in the future.


  1. Mmmm...foot. My favorite!

    1. ROFL. My typing. :)

      However, we normally do have seafood and go to the bay and eat crabs beside the water and the claws and legs are feet, yes?

  2. Ahhh... Wifeaggro. I has it. In SPADES...

    My dear wife, an IT professional (Business Analyst), decided I have a Gaming Addiction because I play and blog about EvE... and yet, my 10 y.o daughter (who plays Minecraft at a level I find simply stunning and who my wife supports in her gaming) has asked me, "Why does Mommy yell at you for playing EvE when she comes home and plays Farmville all night until she goes to bed?"

    According to my wife, I am 'detached' from my family and have 'chosen' EvE over them... and yet I support her in her hobbies, I have never said one word to her about Farmville and have and always will do anything needed to support her as a Girl Scout troop leader, etc., etc. ... all I have ever asked for is understanding that EvE is my hobby and for the first time in my life I am writing... something I have dreamed of since I first found the joy of reading... and now have, and yet is soured by her nonacceptance of it.

    Sigh.... =\

    May I too ask for your 'foot' recipe?? =]

    1. Or maybe it is because you are playing Eve with other people which leaves her feeling excluded vs playing a single player game. She may feel as if she cannot interrupt you. But really, I don't know her and have no idea.

      My mom used to make pigs feet.. I can get you a recipe after I correct that little typo...

    2. My wife often complains to others that she is a "Eve Widow", or to me that "EVE is the other woman".

      We don't count the hours she spends on facebook or pintrest.

    3. One of my co-workers has his girlfriend moving in. She told him that she assumed he'd stop playing video games so that he could spend time with her watching TV and pay her attention. He told her that part of his game playing was winding down and he wasn't suddenly going to start watching what she watched just because they live together. She was startled.

    4. Actually, the "other people" I am playing with are my wife's youngest son (1st marriage), my stepson and active duty Marine and ingame HBHI CEO and his RL corpmate (inactive duty firefighter) and my son-by-another-father...

      The ONLY reason she has not cut off the monthly payment for my sub is it would piss off her son. And she will not, under any circumstances discuss it with him, as that would work against her interests not for.

      And yes, while there are times when an interruption can get people's recycled pixel spasships assploded, she has often shushed our daughter with, "This is a timed game Boo!! Leave me alone until I finish!" while on some game on her iPhone... hand to god.

      One of the worst parts is our summer sitter, a young lady we all like very much, is also a gamer and is going to join EvE... and so is her (rather attractive and divorced) mom...

      My wife went simply apoplectic when the young lady told her this with a huge grin (not realizing my loving wife, though smiling through her teeth, was not joking about her hatred of EvE...)

      And yea, I have heard 'EvE Widow', etc., etc. ... Of course, it dint go well when I responded, "Nope, sorry, still breathing and stuff over here..." without looking up and with Boo laughing her butt off. =\

      And you know what your co-worker should have replied? That he assumed she'd stop watching TV so that she could spend time with him in the game and pay him attention... LOL! yea right, like that would ever happen.

    5. Sadly your story is something that is not a rarity when it comes to gamers. Its also one of the reasons I'll probably be single for life. :P.

  3. Another perspective:

  4. A waste of time is all a matter of perspective.

    Why people have a hard time understanding this I'll never know, but as with a lot of people only their opinion matters and yours doesn't.

    There are only a few concerns that I find applicable when it comes to "A waste of time", those are meeting your responsibilities e.g. work, family, personal health.

    Once these things are met what you do in your free time is up to you.

    1. Forgot to add as an example, I have a friend who loves to play video games, but he will not play an MMO. Because of the way MMO's work where the world is always in motion and you will miss something if you're not on, this would cause him to neglect his responsibilities because he is the type of person that has to be seeing it all.

      So to avoid that type of situation he doesn't even do free trials, and even monitors some of the online games he plays.

    2. My friend has not tried Eve for similar reasons. She knows she will get sucked in and instead just chooses not to have to deal with her personality. I do not push her towards Eve. Instead, we play Diablo and other multi-player games where we can step in and step out easily and focused on enjoying each others company.

      None of these things are bad. Responsibilities matter. I hate having a set bedtime but because I have to be at work at 6am I know I need at least X amount of hours to function through a 12 hour day. If someone has to go cold turkey to make the better decision for themselves I will always support it.

      I just don't feel that the pleasures in life are only found outside. However, I am hankering for another cruise and think I will plan one for the spring.

  5. lots of stuff... but al I saw was ---*** MUD ***--- *GIR voice* I love you(r interests)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Maybe one day!

 [15:32:10] Trig Vaulter > Sugar Kyle Nice bio - so carebear sweet - oh you have a 50m ISK bounty - so someday more grizzly  [15:32:38 ] Sugar Kyle > /emote raises an eyebrow to Trig  [15:32:40 ] Sugar Kyle > okay :)  [15:32:52 ] Sugar Kyle > maybe one day I will try PvP out When I logged in one of the first things I did was answer a question in Eve Uni Public Help. It was a random question that I knew the answer of. I have 'Sugar' as a keyword so it highlights green and catches my attention. This made me chuckle. Maybe I'll have to go and see what it is like to shoot a ship one day? I could not help but smile. Basi suggested that I put my Titan killmail in my bio and assert my badassery. I figure, naw. It was a roll of the dice that landed me that kill mail. It doesn't define me as a person. Bios are interesting. The idea of a biography is a way to personalize your account. You can learn a lot about a person by what they choose to put in their bio

Taboo Questions

Let us talk contentious things. What about high sec? When will CCP pay attention to high sec and those that cannot spend their time in dangerous space?  This is somewhat how the day started, sparked by a question from an anonymous poster. Speaking about high sec, in general, is one of the hardest things to do. The amount of emotion wrapped around the topic is staggering. There are people who want to stay in high sec and nothing will make them leave. There are people who want no one to stay in high sec and wish to cripple everything about it. There are people in between, but the two extremes are large and emotional in discussion. My belief is simple. If a player wishes to live in high sec, I do not believe that anything will make them leave that is not their own curiosity. I do not believe that we can beat people out of high sec or destroy it until they go to other areas of space. Sometimes, I think we forget that every player has the option to not log back in. We want them to log


Halycon said it quite well in a comment he left about the skill point trading proposal for skill point changes. He is conflicted in many different ways. So am I. Somedays, I don't want to be open minded. I do not want to see other points of view. I want to not like things and not feel good about them and it be okay. That is something that is denied me for now. I've stated my opinion about the first round of proposals to trade skills. I don't like them. That isn't good enough. I have to answer why. Others do not like it as well. I cannot escape over to their side and be unhappy with them. I am dragged away and challenged about my distaste.  Some of the people I like most think the change is good. Other's think it has little meaning. They want to know why I don't like it. When this was proposed at the CSM summit, I swiveled my chair and asked if they realized that they were undoing the basic structure that characters and game progression worked under. They said th