I tend to vastly under estimate how much I purchase to do things. Some of that comes from the fact that I tend to use containers. Everything is neatly sorted into its own home and I never see it unless I need to fit a new ship. I don't change fits but instead keep several ships of the same type with different fits around to switch into at need.
Now that we as players are more used to the new Unified Inventory with its trees and the price calculator as well as the fact that it has become a smoother, more streamlined and customization opportunity, it's a lot easier to calculate your net worth.
I was collapsing down one of my secondary bases the other day. When I dumped everything into my Bosena hanger, which has no containers, I had to giggle at the almost three billion ISK value for the hanger. Once I sorted out my drugs that I had pulled from the other market due to the move, I still had a billion and a half ISK worth of modules and ammunition. My ship hanger has an estimated value of 1.7 billion in hulls and most of those are fitted. That is where all my money went to.
I then sorted out the loot from the modules I use. That thinned things down a little bit. I seems that in January, when I was going to make an effort to go and find solo fights I spent a lot of ISK on the project with guns and modules so that I could easily refit. However, I never wanted to do that project. I was pushing myself towards it because I believed it was what I was supposed to do to prove my value to everyone. To prove that I was worth having around and other such aspects of my personal insecurities as a member of my corporation and someone that PvPs in general. No one was forcing me to do this. I simply felt valueless when I looked at everyone that I knew and their aggressive take PvP head on and attack and kill things.
But, I never wanted to do it. It isn't how I work. I don't actually want to run around solo. It is not one of my desires. I like fleets just fine. I also like doing other things. Instead, trying to force myself to do what I felt was wanted of me had the opposite effect and I instead dug my heels in deeply to do what I wanted to do with a fuck the world vibe to it. If it meant I wound up alone and unwanted then so be it.
Of course, I was overly dramatic and having my own personal version of relativity None of that happened. No one gives any fucks that I don't solo and didn't start. Leaving me with the side effect of having a massive stack of modules. Fortunately at the same time, I also had my Jaguar epiphany due to the Crimewatch changes and all of those frigate sized modules are very useful and relevant to me.
I got rid of all of my Hurricanes. I like my ships agile and with the changes the Hurricane is no longer the sleek beast it was. Maybe if they introduce a faction version that has a more reasonable agility I will have a reason to fly one again.
Now, I find myself needing to buy a stack of interceptors and assault frigates in both Gallente and Minmatar flavors. I am also going to switch my ship for BlOps dropping from my Loki to a Proteus. I dislike my Loki so I might as well try something that is meant to be a brick tanked immobile armor ship and indulge in its tackle abilities and see if I like that better. I won't know if I like a ship until I try to fly it. I don't fly based off of stats and what is 'more better' so every ship is an individual.
Of course that means spending ISK. I have ISK spending days. Days where I have decided to do something and buying what I need is not the chore that it normally is. Since I must spend money on this Proteus and its subsystems, I might as well take the time to spend money on other things. Why not some Dramiels? Why not another Daredevil and try them out. While I'm feeling rebellious, I will not properly fit them with shiny modules because shiny modules make me not want to fly my ships. I will T2 fit them and if that makes me a bad then so be it. I'm tired of following along meekly, doing what people tell me to do because it is the 'best' and winding up unhappy and uninterested. I can't even explain how much I allow that to tint my game and leave myself in positions I do not want to be in.
Running TCS has helped me to understand the value of assets and see beyond liquid ISK. I can't see very far but it is an improvement from where I was. I am also in a phase of trying things out. I'm ungrounded as to what I want to be and where I want to go.
A little bit of rebellion. A little bit of ISK spending. A few new things. Just another day.