Skip to main content

Grand Theft Wormhole

"I'm going to leave Sugar with you and be back with an Orca," said Vov.
"Okay," said the Sabre that had me in its bubble and the Mantacore that had me pointed.  I prompltly worked my way out of the Sabre's bubble and the Manticore's point. However, Vov had promised me as the hostage so I let the Manticore repoint me as he says, "You are not getting away :)"
A moment later, Vov warps back in an Orca and ejects from it and warps off.  "Holy shit!" they say and drop point on me. Someone jumps into the wormhole in a pod and off the Orca goes.
"You guys want to help?" Vov asked.  "There is a ton of stuff here..."

You see, I had just logged in about an hour before this little event and Vov(star of 180 minutes) goes, "I got in a Wormhole corp."

"Nice." He had been trying for a few days but shying away from full API checks. Something about having robbed his last wormhole corp blind that he worried might upset them. We had suggested that he push forward and give the API anyway, make up some random lies if they had questions and see how it went.

His conversation with the CEO went, "We do full API keys to check for corp thieves and AWOXers. Here is where the high sec hole is. The corp bookmarks are there. I've given you POS permissions. I'll be offline by the time you get there."

"Okay," said Vov. As I log in he tells me to get an alt started to the high sec system and heads there himself to see what there is to see. We hop onto coms and start planning to take everything.  "They gave me starbase configuration!" he crows as he bounces into the wormhole, through the C2 and into the C4 (I'm trying to get these terms correct) where his new corporation lives.

Once he lands he is all sorts of excited. There are ships everywhere. Three Orcas are sitting in space. He tells me there is a Viator there.  I start Chella rolling that way along with my scanning alt who stopped to get a hauler and cargo expand it all over the place.  As my alt gets into the system he works the first Orca out. I meet him at the wormhole and try to remember to save everything. We go through, save the bookmarks, and as I warp off as a Manticore lands.

I warn Vov. Chances are very high the gig is up. I'm hoping it is someone that is just  a curious wormhole bear and won't actually try to do anything to us. Vov is pretty sure they may not know where we came in from. We go through, I forget to save the wormhole on the side that we are stealing everything from. Sigh. Not used to wormholes. I did try. I warp to the sun and log out while he moves the second Orca. I'm expecting him to land in a bubble and lose everything. Then he looks at the fit on the Orca he is in and realizes that it is faction fit. As we are boggling in shock he forgets to warp the Orca and moves it towards the wormhole because we fail at wormholes. The Manticore is probing him now but he manages to remember what he is doing, warp to the high sec exit, and hop out.

I log back in and exit my ship. He drops that Orca off and comes back. This time he brings me a Tengu and takes a Loki for himself. We get them out.  We go back in. He brings a second Tengu and a Tengu for himself.  We get them out.  When we go back in this time they have a Sabre on the side of the POS we are stealing from and bubble us.  This is when Vov uses his elite talking skills and offers them an orca, Tengus and whatever they can steal from this corp theft. They decide to see if he will really give them an Orca for letting our pods go.

He returns with the Orca and suddenly we have new friends.  He also gives them a Tengu and a Noctis. The Next Tengu I get and take it out.  As we are discussing what to do with all the ships we figure out that he can change the POS password.  A switch change and now I have a Viator and a Oracle on the way out.  We give the password to our new friends and they come and start looting everything they can get their hands on. There were stacks of ships hanging out in space that Vov had ejected from the SMA (ship maintenance array).  Well, not for long.

Vov didn't have the roles to get into the rest of the corporation hangar. However the CEO had said it didn't have much in it. We've already cleared out the Orcas, Tengus, Loki and I nabbed the Viator.  

As our new wormhole friends called in reinforcements, I manage to nab 3 drakes, a Moa, an Iteron, and an Iteron III. Grand theft spaceship and space is empty of hulls in minutes. I couldn't even use half of the fits on the hulls. Not that it mattered.  Board ship, run out of worm hole, wash, rinse, repeat. The helpful corp had more people come in.  Vov just gave them fleet boss so they could add whoever they needed to fleet to clear everything out faster.
They then brought in some DPS ships to take down the extra large corporation hangar. As soon as the POS shields dropped they started to beat at that hangar.  It came apart quickly.  I had gone back to the sun and picked up my hauler I left there. I hovered over the corporation hangar, along with all of them, and like vultures we sucked it dry after it exploded.

I picked up some random gas, ore, a piece of a capital ship and who knows what else.  The wormhole corp decided to do the cleanup. With the corporate hangar down, Vov and I were done. I collected my abandoned Rookie ship on Chella and we left, with no traces behind us.  Our new friends were like, "Yall are leaving?" and we said, "Yup. Thanks for listening to us and giving us a chance!"

How that worked out I have no idea. I commented on it to someone in another wormhole corporation. He told me that they never would have listened to us unless we were offering to bring back ships to fight them because PvP is the most important thing. Then he wanted the corporation that assisted us to 'blacklist' them. Whatever. It's okay to go and shoot other groups POS to see if they are stronted to take all of their stuff but assist some pirates in a corp theft and you deserve black listing. Whatever.

Another 120 minutes.  Another corporation cleared out.  We tallied our goods.  Vov had 2 Orcas shoved full of stuff, a tengu or two and a loki and some random ships. I had the three Tengu (I keep calling them Loki), three drake, an Oracal, a Moa, an Iteron, an Iteroin III and a Viator.  The haulers all had assorted stuff in them.

Buzzed from the sucessful theft and the hysterical fact that it worked out, I moved Tengu around as I got myself sorted.  There was a link bug going on and I couldn't make Red Frog Contacts that night. I did move Tengu and decide to keep one of the three of them.

ISK tallies are 5 billion to Vov.  Three billion to me. A few bil for the other corporation and who knows what else. They said they'd send me a tally list when they were done.  I spent some time deciding on which Tengu to pick as a trophy.

In the end, I picked the one without bling.  It will be a hangar queen. Testament of this theft because I like trophies  The others will be sold.  One has already relocated itself to a corpmate. He purchased just the hull, rigs, and subsystems. Why this thing looks like a tentacle beard creature I don't know.

The T1 hulls will go to TCS for sale. Retail by Piracy erryday in Bosena.  Also, I have a massive amount of missiles as well.  The other odds and ends will ship up to Jita for resale. Contracts were working again after downtime and Red Frog is now moving everything to my high sec base for sorting.

And this is why CCP announced personal hangar arrays will be coming in the Odyssey expansion, summer of 2013. Now we will have to shoot their personal hangars and hope their shiny stuff drops.

TL;DR: There is now a C4 wormhole with no stuff and a Thanatos that will never be made.


  1. Wow. Nicely done!

    Should you have titled this, "Assets Out - Money In?" :-D

    1. I went through a couple of cute titles but decided to stick with something clear and eye catching.

  2. I approve of this post and award it a smashing 11 YAARRS out of 10 on the Blackbeard scale!

    1. Oh yeah this is EPIC as dirty space pirate scum I might have got a little hard reading this

  3. No wonder that all the wormholes I scout out are empty - you got there first!

  4. Replies
    1. Amusing how no one ever tells you that Karma is going to reward you for doing 'good' deeds.

      I guess this is their Karma :D

  5. Terrific, sounds like great fun. Please post convos with the Corp CEO after he notices his POS has gone walkies.

  6. one of the few post i actually read from start to finish.

    1. Sorry that I am normally such a bore for you. Thank you for trying anyway.

    2. Bwahaha, great response. I love your posts, and read 99% of them from start to finish.

  7. Just for future LOL's Sugar, I pay 33 cents on the dollar for all, how shall we say.... ships of a dubious pedigree; just in the event you happen across any others in the near future.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sugar’s Non-Technical Guide to Making Boosters

Welcome to my non-technical and outdated but probably still useful guide to boosters.  There have been changes to how things are built in Eve. This was the old POS code before the introduction of new structures in 2016.   This is just a walk through on my wobbling path of booster production.  It took me half a dozen different documents to figure out what I needed to do to make these mythical things.  It is what I do.  It may not be perfect but it works.

This is pirate focused industry.
This guide brought to you by Lain asking me to write it after I tried to explain it in chat.

Why make boosters? Because drugs are good.  Really they are performance enhancers and performance enhancers can give someone that extra edge in PvP.  It was also because my boys used them and when they ran low they often ran out, I could be their supplier.  They would no longer hoard their drugs due to the length of time it takes to get fresh product.. The thought of being a drug kingpin was also very appealing. …

Will the real player please stand up?

I installed Eve on my Surface the other day. I then remembered why my last laptop, when I was playing Eve, was an Alienware gaming laptop. My Surface, wonderful creature that it is, runs Eve at such a tiny magnification that I squint to see it. I could change my settings and adjust for this. Instead, I'll stick to my desktop and try to remember to log in and see the latest round of changes.

Yet, here I am writing.

Deep in the muzzy field of my brain that has been working almost daily for the last six weeks, random thoughts bubble up. I may not log in and spend my time focusing on Eve as a world, but it hasn't slipped from me. I've picked up an amazing group of friends that I talk to daily and many of them still play enough that I skim the social edges. At times I'm angry that the same social problems exist. At others, I'm fascinating by the process.

Today is a fascinating day because I've been answering e-mails. I still get e-mails occasionally from people who …

Memoirs - Part One: Virtual Worlds

Virtual Realities: Memoirs of an internet spaceship politician by Sugar Kyle CSM9, CSMX
This is where it really started. The day I lost my mind.

I never told anyone how long I had been debating my run for the ninth CSM. The thought started to circle in the back of my thoughts in November. I was back home after a sucessful Eve Vegas. I had met a few people. My notes from the presentations and round tables had gone over very well. I felt useful, comfortable, and excited that I was a member of the community. I belonged and I cared about this thing that I belonged to. That thing was the community of Eve Online.
Eve Vegas of 2013 was when I found out that a conversation I had been fortunate enough to have with CCP Masterplan at Fanfest of that same year, had sparked enough interest to gain developer attention. At Eve Vegas I learned that they would be working on ideas based off of the premise that I had presented. Only days later, a developer posted to the Offical Eve Online forums about i…