Shipcurious

Last March I chased Diz around in a circle until he finally made a skill plan for me and beat me with it until I went away.  The plan was several things. It was the core skills I would need for tanking both shield and armor. It was the skills I would need to always be at the top of my game when it came to my capacater.  It was my agility skills and my ship skills and it was topped off by turning me into a brilliant Hurricane pilot.

I wouldn't call myself a brilliant Hurricane pilot but I don't think I was terrible.  I really got to know the ship and I liked the ship.  It worked for me and I used it for almost everything.  In general, I focused heavily on Minmatar to the extent that I could not fly anything else.  I was fine with that.  Between my Jaguar and my Hurricane I was satisfied with life and that satisfaction was a warm burst of glory when I first undocked my Sleipnir.

Then the battle cruiser skill change came around and I needed to learn everything.  I also wanted to fly a Cynabal and that meant Gallente Cruiser V.  By the time I was done with both I suddenly could fly a vast array of ships. I just wasn't sure if I wanted to because I was happy with what I had.  Plus, I didn't have any other gun skills so I did not worry about it.

Then the battlecruiser tieracide came mixed with the cruiser changes from Retribution and I found myself losing my staidfast comfort food, the Hurricane and left with the Rupture as my only T1 cruiser option. I will admit what I am not supposed to.  I do not like the Rupture.  I have tried to like the Rupture for the last year.  I have flown it many times.  I have ratted in it. I have escaped things I should have died to in it.  Yet, I do not love it or even like it very much.  This left me needing to find some new staples in my life.

Now, I could advance to expensive things. I have a stack of Cynabals fit and ready to go out and explode. I had started to fly Stabber Fleet Issues with good results and some sanctification in armor setups.  Yet, I have not been in love with flying anything but my Jaguar for some time now.  I do adore my Sleipnir but I only PvE in it for now.  I have the ISK but not the will or the need to fly shiny, expensive things.

At some point, I realized that Gallente Cruiser V meant more than flying the Cynabal.  I could, in fact, fly Gallente ships too.  Unexpected.  Let me crawl out of this box a little bit and look at the bright lights around me.  That is when I gave in and remapped into gunnery.  I've chewed through Medium Hybirds and Small Energy Turrets (aka Lazorzzzz).  I was going to do Medium Energy Turrets and call things a day when I sat down and had a serious discussion with myself about large guns, tier 3 battlecruisers, battleships, and all the ops I miss out on because I am stubborn.

That makes me examine my stubbornness.  I'm prideful at the stupidest moments.  Once someone has my back against a wall and I've gone into full reaction mode where I am going to defy them no matter what the cost, I have a hard time backing down.  I have a hard time backing down even when I make the decision to back down.  Talking myself back to the land of reasonableness is hard sometimes but today I find myself in that position.

Basically, I need to have the ability to fly battleships.  I don't have to or want to fly them on the regular, but I'm feeling kind of sad when I go to bed early because there is a big OP going on that I can't even think to join in on because we've been called up to provide a certain part of the fleet comp and I can't fill that.  Normally I just go and do logistics and support work and fill the void in my system but watching the fleets form up and join coms as I hand them their stuff while they go to do work is leaving me having little pity parties inside.

I can only blame myself.  So I have. And with that blame comes the need to solve the problem. And that solution is for me to back down from the corner where I am the only one keeping myself pinned to. So I have started the path, I'm almost done large hybrid guns.  This will allow me to be into large T2 blasters and rails in a few weeks.  Once that is done I will be able to fly Tier 3 battle cruisers which will open up my ability to engage in fleet comps.  I will then look into T2 lasers, get access to Oracles as well and then look into what Battleships I will be able to use for engagements.

I doubt I will have battleship V anytime soon but I will broaden my abilities with a handful of skills and a handful less pride.