Are unpleasant fleet commanders a take it, leave it, or deal with it situation? Few enough people step up to run fleets. Even fewer are good at it. There are times that fleet commanders are a take it or leave it situation due to the circumstances. What is, if there is, the point when the fact that they have stepped up to FC excuses behavior?
I'm curious. If I find a FC to be unpleasant to listen to I have no interest in joining fleets. I am not asking anyone to pat me on the head every time I do my job. I do wish for a situation where my FC does not start to rant and rave when something goes poorly. Even not directed at me, I don't enjoy the situation. It may be a of having good, calm even tempered fleet commanders. I may be spoilt.
I find that some people agree with me. Some agree that if the FC is in the right and the fleet member in the wrong then they will defend the FC even if the FCs behavior is ridiculous (to me). Other's do not care. Their only interest is in the probable success of the fleet. This success depended on the Fleet Commander and an effective Fleet Commander is the most important factor. Attitude and behavior are secondary factors even if they are outrageous.
I recently experienced the above scenario. I'd never had the person as a Fleet Commander before. They are not one of the regular FCs. Things did not go as planned, the target got away, and I, on my way to the fleet to join up and go on whatever adventures turned around, docked up and left the fleet. The later fall out expressed three opinions and in those three opinions I could understand why each opinion was presented the way it was.
It was eye opening for me. I'd often wondered why people stayed with abusive fleet commanders. Some of it is the lack of wanting to lead. I know that I'm a 'not it' person when it comes to fleets. If someone forced me to be the FC I'd reject it. I'm not the easiest person to force to do anything. I'm very comfortable with saying and meaning, "No." I love fleets but I have a full plate of things to do in Eve and it is very easy for me to redirect my energy to a more pleasurable task then listening to someone rant.
But, I've been puzzled about why anyone would stay in that situation. Again, I discovered that I'm not everyone. I also focus a lot on the interpersonal communication between players. Those glossimer strands created by words and actions that link one player to another. They can elicit the deepest wells of passion and erupt volcanic rages. It is the internet and it is a game but people are always people and dealing with them means that it is people dealing with people.
I play video games because I enjoy them. I don't consider it an escape from reality because reality is still right there. I make dinner, fold laundry, feed the dogs and go to work in the mornings. I sip my hot tea and put on a sweater when it is cold. Reality is here and it is tangible at every moment. I cannot escape it but I do indulge my free time in a virtual occupation. It is the same way that I indulge myself in books.
However, that virtual occupation is full of people and it is full of people that I work with in various ways and for various reasons. Eve is well known for its diplomacy. A staggeringly complex network of agreements connect groups together. I experience that myself within my pirate corporation within a pirate society in the low sec area that we live in. Depending on circumstance and reason the group will go from unaffiliated social groups in constant friction to an integrated and focused mass. Many of us share communications channels and we bounce in and out of coms and fleet with each other. One moment together and a cohesive group with a goal and the next in battle with each other again.
All of it works because of the social interactions that we have with each other. Let one person become a jerk and they will quickly find themselves ostracized from the greater community. No one has to get along with anyone else. Some people are focused on having no allies. But there are reasons for people to work together and they do.
Being the social happy butterfly that I am I like this. I enjoy slipping between groups and having productive conversations that do not discuss automatically start with information and diagrams on reproduction and the various levels of psychological aggression someone may or may not have when confronted with a situation. I've been told before that not debating a topic or responding to an argument is a sign that I do not have an adequate response on the subject. I will counter that I simply do not want to delve into argument and debate when I could instead be puttering around enjoying myself. For me, arguing for the sake of arguing is not a pleasure or a pass time that I wish to bring into my free time. In Eve, unlike at work, I can walk away from such situations. I indulge myself and do.