Eve gives me a particular desire to participate in things that I would otherwise ignore. This is one of them. Blog Banter 42 convinced me to scribble down a brief summary of major events in the year. Now that the year is ending and people are doing the New Years thing and writing summaries and resolutions and such things.
Because I participate in the community I wind up reading things that I might otherwise not. Then I start thinking on the subjects and depending on that I may or may not write about them. My first draft of this particular blog post was very grumpy and moody due to the fact that I am not a Holiday person and look forward to life settling back down to normal.
But the future. The future in Eve is always constant It is not a 'This is a new year' type of thing because the game requires from many a significant amount of planning. Skill plans, financial plans, character pathways, social interactions, various events, all of these things trail into the future and drag along the players with them.
I'm at a new year way point junction simply because it falls in line with everything else. My first year in Eve has just passed, I've been writing the blog for a year, and a year in general is a good point to say "I have done this let me access where I am and where I am going." It just happens to fall in with the entire "New Year" thing. Which is only a date celebrated as the New Year just 'cause some stuff.
I am invested in the game and I am invested in my future in the game. I receive a lot of pleasure from playing Eve. Having slipped into the game to the point that I am at, I stand at a brilliant pathway of choices and decisions. That is a very pretty way to say that I need to shit or get off of the pot.
One of the biggest things is that I need to spend some time going out and doing things by myself. Many people start doing things by themselves and eventually get help. I started out with help and support and have not spent time doing things alone. Oh, I live in Low Sec by myself and I take care of myself but that's not what I am talking about.
I'm talking about PvP.
Instead of a huge, laundry list of things to do over the next year I've selected down one primary goal that I'd like to accomplish to move myself forward. That goal is to get out by myself and try my hand at some of the things rolling around inside of my head. And I think that I need to do it without my boys. I'm leaning on them to much in some ways.
But, not always alone. Lain has been sweet enough to volunteer to come with me and allow me to derp him into things. He even seems rather excited about it. It also means I tackle the other, secondary issue that I have been avoiding which is some form of Fleet Command. Lain has told me that he shall blindly follow my orders into glory or explosions or both and shall enjoy himself.
Its not that I expect to run out and own space. I've purchased a stack of frigates and destroyers and fits for them. It's not about winning its about developing a comfort level with doing some of these things. It's my goal to push myself beyond my comfort zone a bit. So I am going to die. A lot. I am going to try things out I normally might shy from. I'm going to try to follow through with the decisions I believe I should be making and see what comes from it. I've learned a lot over the last year.
I'm going to stretch out my wings a bit and learn to stand by myself.
It is not that I have a huge desire to be a solo pilot. If so, I'd not so gladly accept Lain's company. It's that I need to spend some time forcing myself to make my own decisions. Instead of going, "I wonder if this, because of that" I plan to act upon that musing and do some follow through. I said before that I learn best by learning before I do.
Now I need to go and do.