Monday, June 4, 2012

Its all about the Trolling

Because I decided that my best idea of the morning was to eat a pod, I am now doing penance for my -4.6 sec status. This leads to a very unexciting afternoon of pewpewing belt rats before work. However, thanks to the antics of some of my alliance mates, I'm able to look into someone elses passtime.

One of my alliance members kills miners as a passtime. It is not about hulkageddon. It is not about having issues with miners. He is not an asshole. For whatever reason, and I admit, I have not asked, he enjoys exploding miners with catalysts. Hulkageddon just paid him to do it.

A few months ago (before hulkageddon) he created the Molden Heath Environmental Authority. Miners can buy a mining license for 50mil and he will not bother them. If they do not, he inspects them and finding them without a license, explodes their barges.

The entire goal is to keep Molden Heath safe from the vicious environmental damage done by miners. He has had a huge number of petitions submitted against him for extortion and not being able to charge people for licenses. Only one or two people have purchused them. We did reimburse one guy his loss to another person. After all, its an honest government agency trying to protect Molden Heath for future generations.

Anyway, as a 'create your own gameplay' aspect, it is rather amusing. There are about 10 people who are all part of the agency. They all have their inspector numbers in their titles and they send this form Eve Mail out for each barge that explodes:

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Greetings and Salutations from The Executioners (official agents for the Molden Heath Environmental Authority; additional information available at http://mhea.podpilot.org/)

At approximately (time) EVE time on (date), you were found mining in Molden Heath without a mining license, and as a result The Executioners (TEXN) turned your mining barge into a smoking wreck. We regret this action, but we have found that warnings do not achieve the desired results. As you are now aware, the mining profession almost forces you to become a stationary target, incapable of any real defense against our dedicated teams of mining inspectors. The investment for us is minimal...almost negligible. The loss for you is likely more significant.

There's hope however. Mining Licenses are available at the very reasonable price of 50 million ISK per month. Once we have the record of your Mining License in our files, you will be safe from any further sanctions by our mining inspectors. In addition, a Mining License provides you with insurance against the loss of your mining barge in highsec*. Allow me to elaborate: if any other party destroys your vessel, we will provide you with a replacement and declare war on the aggressors.

Please consider carefully and choose wisely. 50 million ISK per month is a small price to pay to meet your environmental obligations and to have real peace of mind. Come in under the TEXN umbrella.

Contact me via evemail or private conversation to sign up as soon as possible.

Mine in safety, mine with the TEXN guarantee. -Respectfully,

-Name Mining Inspector #

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It's partially roleplay but 100% for the amusement factor. As the head of the science department I have reimbursed a few people and written a few responses to enraged miners about what happened and the agency's goal to protect the asteroid fields. He forwarded this conversation from local the other day and I asked if I could share it.


[00:12:14] Roth Enaz > who's the griefer that capped my friend?
[00:12:57] Pfeils Goodman > I-belt 3?
[00:13:02] Mane Frehm > griefer? thats untrue. You were mining without a license
[00:13:11] Roth Enaz > license
[00:13:12] Roth Enaz > lol
[00:13:21] Roth Enaz > funny guys
[00:13:23] Pfeils Goodman > Did Mining inspector #14 bust you?
[00:13:37] Mane Frehm have you not heard of the Molden Heath Environmental Authority?
[00:13:45] Pfeils Goodman > he's a real hard ass
[00:13:50] Couto607 > that guy is an asshole. you should report him to his supervisor.
[00:14:01] Mane Frehm > rules are very clear - mining in Molden Heath without a license is prohibited
[00:14:12] Pfeils Goodman > even I know that mane
[00:14:36] Mane Frehm > I know you know Pfeils - but appears there are so many others who dont
[00:14:42] Mane Frehm > very sad
[00:15:10] Pfeils Goodman > good thing police catalysts are so cheap
[00:15:46] Pfeils Goodman > I remember the days when mining police needed to waste a whole brutix to keep people from poaching space rocks
[00:15:51] Mane Frehm > Btw Roth - a) you need a license too and b) putting your drones on your buddy was interesting. You many have potential as a mining inspector
[00:16:02] Pfeils Goodman > hahaha
[00:16:12] Roth Enaz > i put my drones on him because i intended to annoy him
[00:16:23] Mane Frehm > congrats - you got on the KM
[00:16:34] Roth Enaz > lol
[00:16:36] Mane Frehm > http://www.theexecutioners.org/kb/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=20433
[00:17:19] Mane Frehm > I'm sure he will be impressed. Would you like to learn more about an interesting career as a mining inspector?
[00:17:27] Pfeils Goodman > lol wow has a retriever ever ganked a hulk like that before?
[00:17:35] Mane Frehm > (so many illegal miners; so little time)
[00:21:22] Pfeils Goodman > Hey roth
[00:21:28] Pfeils Goodman > cool vexor
[00:22:15] Roth Enaz > expendable
[00:22:36] Pfeils Goodman > Are you cross with someone?
[00:22:42] Roth Enaz > Mane
[00:22:57] Pfeils Goodman > He's just doing his job
[00:23:07] Roth Enaz > isnt that special
[00:23:53] Pfeils Goodman > maybe you should tell him where you are
[00:24:26] Mane Frehm > Is he mining illegally in a vexor?
[00:24:30] Mane Frehm > tsk tsk
[00:24:45] Pfeils Goodman > no sir, he appears to be doing space poops in it
[00:24:54] Adrannia > Anal!
[00:25:08] Mane Frehm > I see
[00:25:15] Pfeils Goodman > and he has a drake for a friend
[00:25:15] Mane Frehm > well, my shift is almost over here
[00:25:28] Pfeils Goodman > Thanks for your service sir
[00:25:57] Mane Frehm > its a thankless job. Your caring words mean a lot to me
[00:26:12] Pfeils Goodman > I on't like rock poachers
[00:26:53] Pfeils Goodman > The money from those mining licenses goes to good things like schools and food stamps
[00:27:01] Mane Frehm > indeed
[00:27:53] Adrannia > Guys get laid. Local chat is lame as hell...
[00:28:08] Sneekapeek Mulatto > supa lame
[00:28:08] Pfeils Goodman > Sorry Mr Sheen
[00:28:16] Caldari Citizen 20110711 > are you okay with full frontal male nudity?
[00:28:26] Caldari Citizen 20110711 > and now less lame
[00:28:28] Pfeils Goodman > Usually I insist on it
[00:28:35] Caldari Citizen 20110711 > who the hell dont?
[00:28:42] Sneekapeek Mulatto > this guy
[00:28:52] Mane Frehm > oh Adrannia - how uncaring of the environment of you. Did you work in the Bush administration?
[00:29:05] Sneekapeek Mulatto > i shave first
[00:29:29] Pfeils Goodman > There are a lot of republican miner around here
[00:29:38] Pfeils Goodman > No love for his exellecy Obama
[00:29:59] Caldari Citizen 20110711 > WAIT, SOMEONE HERE SHAVES, ADD ME
[00:31:09] Artem Ice > shaved corp
[00:31:30] Caldari Citizen 20110711 > we all shave, wee all run missions
[00:31:37] Caldari Citizen 20110711 > smoothly.....
[00:34:35] Mane Frehm > Roth - where did you go? I have your license application right here
[00:35:39] Roth Enaz > where are you
[00:35:53] Mane Frehm > right beside your buddy
[00:35:59] Mane Frehm > I have his application here too
[00:36:03] Sebastian sikesx > lol
[00:38:00] Roth Enaz > so whats it going to be Mane
[00:38:25] Mane Frehm > sadly I cant fire first...but your buddy can
[00:39:01] Roth Enaz > perhaps we need to do some more mining, buddy
[00:39:17] foreverbrent > sounds good
[00:39:21] Mane Frehm > excellent. Your application is ready
[00:39:32] Mane Frehm > would you like a 1 month or 3 month term?
[00:40:02] Roth Enaz > this mining license shit wont fly...i may be in a small corp but i have mighty friends
[00:40:33] Mane Frehm > "mighty friends"?
[00:40:36] Mane Frehm > rofl
[00:40:47] Caldari Citizen 20110711 > with huge missiles
[00:40:55] Mane Frehm > now stop joking and lets get to that license
[00:40:58] Roth Enaz > cackle all you like
[00:41:07] Roth Enaz > my corp will mine this system all we like
[00:41:31] Mane Frehm > your corp? oh - you mean both of you
[00:41:39] Roth Enaz > 'license' or no bloody 'license'
[00:41:59] Mane Frehm > sigh - only blood on the license will be yours if you dont get one
[00:42:21] Roth Enaz > we shall see
[00:42:43] Mane Frehm > brent has already seen -no license = oops; no hulk
[00:42:50] Pfeils Goodman > You're very loyal to a corp you've spent less than a day in
[00:43:08] Roth Enaz > because its my corp
[00:43:22] foreverbrent > just beacuse our corp is a day old doesnt mean we dont know eachother
[00:43:29] Mane Frehm > Roth - btw we have corporate discounts for the license. Isnt that great!
[00:43:31] Pfeils Goodman > You're lucky you can even buy a mining license. The ice mining licenses have a waitlist
[00:43:58] Roth Enaz > i wont tolerate extortion
[00:44:10] Roth Enaz > smell you assholes later
[00:44:20] Mane Frehm > oh Roth - such bitterness in you
[00:44:32] Mane Frehm > get a license; you will feel so much better
[00:44:33] Pfeils Goodman > Thats common with conservatives
[00:44:55] foreverbrent > nah
[00:45:05] Mane Frehm > COME BACK - you forgot your licenses
[00:45:44] Mane Frehm > oh well...just another satisfied customer


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It is pure, Eve gameplay. The demands to know who is responsible, the threats of having 'big friends' come and stomp all over your face, winding up on your friends kill mail with your own mining barge because you were fucking around... great stuff.

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