Skip to main content

Not ready to be on my own yet

I debated a battle with a drake before work the other day and I passed on it. I have a lot of reasons for it but the biggest one was that I was unsure of myself still. I do try to be honest about these things.

I write to keep myself honest as well. I debated this one, more along the lines of the crap people will say to me vs the fact that its simple truth in emotion. When one of my alliance mates read over my blog and commeted about the mission stuff, another goes "Oh god you wrote about missions? Why?". That type of reaction is why I've been hesitant to put myself out there as more then a random interweb hit by someone looking for stuffs.

Why indeed? Because it was new and interesting and I wanted to.

Oh things are improving. I'm pleased that I'm now considered when someone needs a cyno lit. I've done duty as an emergency backup cyno for several ops recently. Its exciting. Cynos are not 'fun' but being trusted to place it correctly off a station so that the dreds and carriers and jump freighters can come through is a big thing to me.

I'm growing. Yet, I still look a bit forward and step back sometimes. It is like the first day at a new school. You are excited and you are nervous and for a while the two things create conflict and confusion.

Another problem with the Drake listed above, is that he is from a PvP corp that loves to hot drop. Seeing one of them alone is not a common occurrence. My corpmate and he are at a stalemate on a gate. My corp mate is in an interceptor. Both are flashy red. What to do?

When he land he went for me. This is where I feel I should have taken the fight. He was taking gateguns. But, if I committed was it a hot drop impending. He scrammed, webbed, and neuted me. Neuts? In my cane? I guess... it wasn't doing very much. Still. My corpmate is going "This smells bad to me, this smells bad".

So, with 20 minutes before I had to leave the house to go to work, I decided not to take said fight. I've been mulling it over. Drake on gate taking gateguns vs my cane. He is a much older toon then I am. I just plugged in Battlecruiser 5 and have 20 days on it. What to do... what to do...

For now, I'm erring on the side of caution. I regret it. However, I didn't spend a night beating myself up over having my ship blown up. Still, I'm 5 months old. I guess I could go and canflip or frig fight or hunt down newbies for solo kills...

Is Solo killing my goal? I think I'd like to be able to do it vs needing to do it as my goal. I just want to have fun, enjoy my corpmates and have the good pewpew.

But I still fret and worry on my own. This is the second time I probably should have but decided to back out and wait. I suspect I'll simply be forced into it eventually. The push into cold water solution.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sugar’s Non-Technical Guide to Making Boosters

Welcome to my non-technical and outdated but probably still useful guide to boosters.  There have been changes to how things are built in Eve. This was the old POS code before the introduction of new structures in 2016.   This is just a walk through on my wobbling path of booster production.  It took me half a dozen different documents to figure out what I needed to do to make these mythical things.  It is what I do.  It may not be perfect but it works.

This is pirate focused industry.
This guide brought to you by Lain asking me to write it after I tried to explain it in chat.

Why make boosters? Because drugs are good.  Really they are performance enhancers and performance enhancers can give someone that extra edge in PvP.  It was also because my boys used them and when they ran low they often ran out, I could be their supplier.  They would no longer hoard their drugs due to the length of time it takes to get fresh product.. The thought of being a drug kingpin was also very appealing. …

Have you done your Eve Vegas Survey?

I did attend Eve Vegas to the shock of many. I'd already paid for it and allotted the time. It seemed that I should go.


I went to the Grand Canyon and Hoover as well. This is not the space to discuss those amazing places or my new Camera.

Eve Vegas was a bit harder for me to go to then I expected. I've detached from Eve for the most part these past months. It is very easy to be angry, frustrated, and bitter about the past that I lived on. The game, its development, and the players move on while I find myself emotionally stuck. That emotional stickiness does not need to be given to everyone else. Part of experiencing it was shielding people from it. But, as I accepted my items and stared down the poor gentleman that tried to put a wristband around my wrist, I realized that I wasn't in as good of a place as I had hoped to be.

That is where the Survey comes in. There are a few things that I could say and did say. A few of the questions made me want to say a bit more.

One was …

Your ideal roadmap

To try to be a bit more interesting then blogging yet another daily list of summit meetings, how about a question?

In the producer session, as we try to figure out how to fix and improve our communication with teams and how we figure out who should be gone to for features and changes, we discussed the road map.

We discussed what 'our' ideal roadmap would be. This breaks down into the individual roadmaps for each member of the CSM. After all, we are individiuals and we have different dreams for Eve. We have different goals and features that we want to move forward or go back to.

How close are we to what CCP is looking at and planning? We discussed their safety mesures to weigh the value of features. What will this feature do for Eve? It is not enough to have an ideal road map of things you want. Those things have to have value and that value needs to be enough to dedicate the time to the feature.

Do you have an ideal roadmap? A path for Eve to head in the next year or two once …