I was a brilliant explosion

I was discussing risk aversion earlier in the afternoon before I exploded. I constantly see it flung out when someone debates a fight and makes a decision not to engage in it. It seems that for some pewpew is a very technical thing and for others it is just getting into a fight, irregardless of the potential outcome.

I was bored and spinning my ships. Needing to go to work it was not worth my time to try to find something productive to get into. Instead, I went to explore the new POS our new member has put up so that he can research stuff. I asked a ton of questions about the POS and buzzed around in one of my rifters that I was needed to take up to high sec and rig since I only had one rigged rifter in low. I figured dropping it off at my high sec hanger to be fit would be a productive activity.

"I have a drake tackled," pops up in the channel. It is in the next system. We go from bullshitting to full hunt mode in about two seconds and everyone peels over there.

"Hold on!, hold on!"

"Warp to me if you want to whore on it."

"Riftah powah!" I roar as I shoot across the system. My rifter has tackle and guns equiped with a damage control mod, a energized nano armor and a nano for speed.

He has the drake tackled in a plex. I warp to the plex, slam the gate and go "shit" when I realize the next gate is 50km off. However, I had a MWD equiped and I turn that shit over and shoot over faster then makes sense to activate the next gate.

I land on grid as, "Shit hes tanked all to hell and beating the shit out of me," comes across. "Rifter to the rescue!" is my response and I shoot into the room to see them just over 100k off me.

I slam on my MWD again and shoot over. All of that training has paid off because I land on top of the drake with enough cap to tackle him.

"Drones?" I ask as I make my way across grid. We're not on coms for any of this.

"Just fucking shoot him."

"Aye."

I debate my cap. I turn off my MWD and orbit at 500 hoping that I'm close enough to help myself. My corp mate makes distance in his tornado now that I have the drake locked down. For a moment I'm going, "Wee" and then I notice that the drake has targeted me.

First hit takes me down to half shields. "Shit!"

"Bail if you have to."

"I'm going to have to bounce," I type as the second one knocks my shields almost all the way out.

"On the way!" and "Fucking gates!" yell my two other corpies. At this point dude has turned his drones onto me and I'm a third into armor and I make a decision.

He is in shields. He can still escape. If I attempt to escape he will probably kill me before I can warp off. If he does not kill me he will be able to escape. Plus, this is a plex and I'll have to go back through both rooms to reach him again. If I hold on, there is a small chance the boys will land on him and finish killing him before he kills me. I am the only tackle on him right now and if I leave he might escape. My job is to tackle and a rifter for a drake is a good exchange.

I deselect my warp away and try to make a difference. My armor is eaten in a few more hits. Fucking missiles. I watch my structure flash red as he is into half armor as my corpmate unloads his tornado into him.

The mail icon flashes and my screen is a brief, beautiful explosion. I warp off my pod.

"He's down."

"Fuck!" go the two who didn't make it into the room. I bounce my pod to safety, get myself oriented. I expected to hear something for blowing up. I always feel bad when it happens. Instead I saw, "She gave me the chance to get some shield regen back. He was tanked like a beast."

I felt very good. The drake was super tanked. He took like 44k damage in the end.

When I docked my pod up I realized that I had the shakes and it felt fantastic.

What I did wrong:

When I approached the drake I roared straight in. I shoulda thought more about transversal type stuff.

When I landed I didn't turn on my damage control because I was worried about having the cap to keep the scram and web on him. I then forgot about it.
I was not for to PvP. I had no rigs on or decent armor. It was not thought that it would be such a tough fight at first and I was just going to whore on the mail.

What I did right:

I made a decision to stay and lose my ship for the kill.
I knew what I needed to do, and that was lock down the drake so that it could be killed.
I was able to affect the situation in a positive way by my actions and teamwork.
I had fun.

Even thou my ship was not fully fit, it was fit to tackle and do some damage.

I've been worried that I was risk adverse since I do not agree with the idea of throwing yourself at things or just attacking things for fun. However, I proved to myself, today that I am not. It is all about the situation that you are in. I was not upset with myself for losing my rifter. I am glad that I decided to stick with it and give my corpmate the time he needed to regen and do the damage.

It was a good outcome. I was worried I'd not get on any kills for the month. At least my month will now be a 1/1. Hopefully I can correct that.