I managed to start my day by dying in a half fit ship simply because I had forgotten that I was in a half fit ship. Such is life. Yesterday, I had been in one ship, thought I was in another, and hit fit. It removed half of the mods, I realized what happened and switched. I never fixed my first ship. My inattention cost me.
Therefore, when I got the sudden inspiration to make a random bookmark off a gate, I was in a perfect position to be pointed and killed. What I had expected to do and what did happen are quite different things. In the end, I made a mistake.
Some would consider it unacceptable. A partially fit ship. Death to a war target. I have opened myself up to ridicule and mockery. In fact, Eve is quite filled with such ridicule and mockery. People read killboards simply to find people in bad situations and call them out on it. Odd kills, improper fits, mistakes, and errors are gathered up and chrishished.
What is hard in Eve about making a mistake is that it is near impossible to own the mistake. I'd be told that I was making excuses, covering it up, or playing the 'didn't want that anyway' card. So, as I am insulted and ridiculed I find myself wondering, is there a way to clearly own a mistake? I have this urge, very often, to sit down and ask people if they believe the things that they say? I would be accused of tears. Perhaps, this entire post would be considered tears.
It used to be that I was very careful not to make mistakes. They were, if anything the worst thing that I could do. Not because I thought that I could be perfect but because I dreaded the out burst that often followed someone commenting upon your mistake. From warping to the wrong gate to losing a ship in a poor situation it was that flash of bright, irritated reaction that I avoided. It was not that I was embarassed to make mistakes it was that I wanted to avoid the reaction some people had when they discovered it.
Some react in shock. Some tease and mock. It was always unpleasant and I'd wrap myself up in caution to avoid it. I avoided the notice of some people because their reaction was always negative. Disappointment. Irritation. Ahh, how I didn't want to be the cause of those things. But I learned that you can overdue the caution and that is what I did for a long, long time.
While I may not throw caution to the wind I expect to make a lot more mistakes in the future. Perhaps, later today. I'm sure tomorrow. I'm sure it will continue into the future. Because, I am playing a game. I'm playing a game where mistakes mean that you fall and successes are hard won. And today I made a mistake that I will learn from.
Therefore, when I got the sudden inspiration to make a random bookmark off a gate, I was in a perfect position to be pointed and killed. What I had expected to do and what did happen are quite different things. In the end, I made a mistake.
Some would consider it unacceptable. A partially fit ship. Death to a war target. I have opened myself up to ridicule and mockery. In fact, Eve is quite filled with such ridicule and mockery. People read killboards simply to find people in bad situations and call them out on it. Odd kills, improper fits, mistakes, and errors are gathered up and chrishished.
What is hard in Eve about making a mistake is that it is near impossible to own the mistake. I'd be told that I was making excuses, covering it up, or playing the 'didn't want that anyway' card. So, as I am insulted and ridiculed I find myself wondering, is there a way to clearly own a mistake? I have this urge, very often, to sit down and ask people if they believe the things that they say? I would be accused of tears. Perhaps, this entire post would be considered tears.
It used to be that I was very careful not to make mistakes. They were, if anything the worst thing that I could do. Not because I thought that I could be perfect but because I dreaded the out burst that often followed someone commenting upon your mistake. From warping to the wrong gate to losing a ship in a poor situation it was that flash of bright, irritated reaction that I avoided. It was not that I was embarassed to make mistakes it was that I wanted to avoid the reaction some people had when they discovered it.
Some react in shock. Some tease and mock. It was always unpleasant and I'd wrap myself up in caution to avoid it. I avoided the notice of some people because their reaction was always negative. Disappointment. Irritation. Ahh, how I didn't want to be the cause of those things. But I learned that you can overdue the caution and that is what I did for a long, long time.
While I may not throw caution to the wind I expect to make a lot more mistakes in the future. Perhaps, later today. I'm sure tomorrow. I'm sure it will continue into the future. Because, I am playing a game. I'm playing a game where mistakes mean that you fall and successes are hard won. And today I made a mistake that I will learn from.
I searched up and down my losses for it but.. if it makes you feel better..
ReplyDeleteI was in a Claw (a properly fit one even) roaming in the east somewhere where all these null Russians apparently live. I found an unnamed Procurer in some random system and it's been a while since i saw anything and was bored to death so I went in for the kill!! So excited, got point, started blasting away..
..And I got stuck on some rocks. I was executed by Acolyte I's. Elite PVP. Ashamed, I waited for him to lock my pod for the quick ride home.
Felt like an idiot then, laugh about it now. :D
I suppose, deep down, what makes tears precious is the squirter’s ongoing (and entirely unproductive) attempts to not be grist for other’s enjoyment. Accordingly, already being murdered, the squirter has to find other ways to deny their hunter successful murder enjoyment: “Already replaced, you didn’t hurt me”, “Not being an asshole like you, I retain the moral high ground”, “I have friends in nullsec, you’re toast” yet another typical racist, homophobic name calling rant (like receiving that via evemail is gonna drain the fun away), etc . . .
ReplyDeleteAccordingly, from a tear perspective, the best way to own a loss is to accept that the deed is well and truly done and let your murder(s) have their fun. They earned it.
Note that this is very different from whether your “friends” are hassling you about a loss. That I’m unable to wisely comment on since different groups have different rules and expectations and the primary question to ask is whether one finds those rules and expectations acceptable.
I can only say that I am disappointed that people expect some ultra-level of perfection in Eve. Let me tell a side story. I used to play bridge at a club level. Out of a membership of 2000 people, I was once #5 - I suppose I qualify as respectable. After an many an interesting hand - opponents would seek my opinion about the bidding or the card play. I would be giving my opinion to people who had been playing for years and even decades longer than me. Some of the people were content with a casual and elementary play ability. So if I offered a complex or advanced solution. They would decline my help; because they were happy with what they had. Compared to Eve were people want to pontificate or ridicule over loss, and everybody should be a grandmaster class level. I'll quote William Shatner in this "get a life".
ReplyDeleteLet me offer another perspective!
ReplyDeleteSince you are absolutely correct in that, it is really hard to own your mistakes in EVE I look at it in a slightly different way. Let them abuse and sperg in local (however unpleasant it says more about them then you after all) and either don't reply at all, or make them think you're a bigger idiot then you actually are...
Why? Well you have an opportunity here, you did a dumb but that's done now, ship is dust not coming back etc, so why not invest in your future engagability instead? If they think you're a dumdum then next time they see you they're not only more likely to engage you they're also more likely to think you easy prey and get careless, increasing your chances of future success.
Maybe I'm just weird though :)